KAIJUOLOGY: VARAN

Art by Yasushi Torisawa

Subject: Varan a.k.a. Baran, Baradagi or Baradaki

Documentation: Varan The Unbelievable (1958), Destroy All Monsters (1968), Godzilla: Monster of Monsters (NES video game 1988), and Godzilla Unleashed (Nintendo Wii video game 2007)

History: Theories among the most preeminent kaijuologists are that Varan may in fact be one of the first mega-fauna in existence on Earth, earning it the name Varan "the father of lizards" and possibly the real life progenitor of many known reptiles. A creature from a long forgotten era, Varan is a completely natural kaiju. It is believed that Godzilla's colossal size was due to nuclear radiation whereas Varan's stature, being of equal height and mass to Godzilla, was due to natural evolution. Varan may in fact be the oldest living kaiju on Earth and perhaps the first kaiju to exist on Earth.

Art by Yasushi Torisawa

According to ancient tribal lore of the Iwayans, Varan ruled the world in the dawning ages of the Earth possessing dominance over the water, the land, and the air. It is believed that the concepts for both flying dragons and sea serpents were derived from early humanity's encounters with Varan, later variations due to other kaiju sightings. Elements of the Kappa from Japanese mythology and folklore seem to have been derived from the Varan legend as well.

For years Varan had made its home in a remote region of Japan near Tohoku about 40 meters up the Kitagami River, often called the Tibet of Japan. At a point near one of the highest elevations in all of Japan multiple mountain peaks come together creating a hidden lake between the peaks. It was here within the lake that Varan had make its home. This lake, nestled within the Kunishiroshima Valley, was unknown until 1958. The area to this day is completely undeveloped and yet in its natural state. A strange gas found only in the area keeps the land covered in a perpetual fog.

There are no roads through the area, only ancient cart paths and walking paths. The only human presence near the area is Iwaya Village, with a population less than one-hundred. The Iwayans possess the only known history and lore surrounding Varan whom they believed to be the primal god Baradagi. The Iwayans erected a shrine to Baradagi with a priest who would regularly conduct ceremonies to appease Baradagi and avoid incurring the god's divine wrath.

In 1958 two colleagues of Professor Sugimoto's went missing while on a research assignment in the Kunishiroshima Valley. When bereaved family members of the victims and another member of the institute arrived in Kunishiroshima the Iwayans told them of their wrathful god Baradagi and that their god was responsible for the two deaths. The village elder and shrine priest expressly forbade them from traveling beyond the village borders into the valley lest they fall prey to Baradagi. The trio from the city ignored the priest's warnings and entered into the valley. There they discovered the strange mist and the lake. Varan emerged shortly thereafter. It followed the three of them to the Iwayan Village, destroying the settlement and killing many.

The trio returned to the city with a report and photographs of Varan. Professor Sugimoto believed Varan to be a species of Varanopode that existed 185 million years ago somewhere within the Triassic, Jurassic, and Cretaceous periods. A conference was held discussing what to do about the beast. Given the recent devastations in Tokyo by Godzilla, Osaka by Anguirus and a second Godzilla, Fukuoka by Rodan, and the world threat by the Mysterians, it was decided that Varan was too dangerous to allow to live.

Another incursion into the Kunishiro Valley was mounted by Professor Sugimoto and other preeminent members of the scientific community. The JSDF led the incursion with many soldiers, tanks, and heavy artillery. By filling the lake with chemicals the JSDF coaxed Varan to the surface. The JSDF attacked with all their weapons but were unable to penetrate the beast's thick hide. By setting the forested area surrounding the lake ablaze they forced the monster out of the valley. All watched in awe and horror as the kaiju climbed to the tallest mountain peak and took flight via wing-like membrane stretching out from its arms to its feet. The tremendous wind gusts generated as the kaiju flew overhead extinguished the flames. Varan eventually landed in the sea.

Art by Yasushi Torisawa

After a fruitless naval pursuit Varan traveled through the Uraga Channel into Tokyo Bay. The kaiju made landfall at Haneda Airport. All of the Japanese Self-Defense Forces efforts proved useless against the monster. Varan laid waste to the airport and surrounding areas. Through the use of experimental bombs attached to flares did the JSDF finally yield results. Professor Sugimoto surmised that Varan would be drawn the bright lights of flares. In a freak stroke of luck, as the flares drifted closer to the kaiju, Varan not only was drawn to them but ate them as well, bombs and all. The bombs detonated within the creature's body. Varan retreated into the sea. Japan's forces believed the beast to be dead but no carcass was ever recovered.

Art by Yasushi Torisawa

ATTACK ON KILAAK

Varan was discovered years later alive. As it was decided that no weapon possessed of man short of an atomic bomb was capable of killing the beast. Instead the kaiju was captured and relocated to the Ogasawara Islands. An invisible magnetic shield was generated to contain Varan on the island. There he remained for years, captive but also safe from harm. Other monsters had already been relocated to these islands and more would arrive later. A safe habitat was created for Varan and the other kaiju to where they could live in peace. This compound was later named Monsterland and became a scientific institute where the kaiju could be studied and observed.

In the year 1999 the Earth was attack by the alien invaders known as the Kilaaks. All the monsters were freed and loosed upon the world. The Kilaaks controlled the beasts through their advanced technology. Earth's forces eventually severed the Kilaaks control over the monsters. Varan and the other earth monsters rose to defend the planet against the Kilaaks. At the base of Mount Fuji in the Aokigahara Forest, Varan and the other kaiju battled against the Kilaak controlled King Ghidorah. Earth's kaiju triumphed and returned to Ogasawara. Varan made his home in a cave in the peak of a mountain on Ogasawara's main island. There he has remained ever since.

VARAN'S BIOLOGY

Varan is one of the last remaining ultrasaurs from prehistory. A king from an ancient time, a world we'll never know, Varan's name is in derivation of Varanus pater which means "father of lizards." Believed to be a colossal ancestor to the modern day Draco lizard, Varan also shares similarities with the Andrias Japonicus (Japanese giant salamander) as well as the Phrynosoma (horned lizard), specifically with the latter regarding Varan's facial features and carapace.

Varan is one of few recorded kaiju that is a true triphibian monster. The kaiju is at home in the water existing for extended periods of time under water. Yet its biology is equally adapted to life on land, dwelling within mountain peaks in caves. And most astonishing of all, Varan is equally at home in the air, flying over great distances. Very few kaiju qualify for all three habitats. The others that do, Gamera and Hedorah for instance, have achieved these qualities through either scientific augmentation or extraterrestrial means. Varan is one of the few natural kaiju adapted to all three areas. The kaiju Gappa may be the only other.

Interestingly Varan often moves between a quadrupedal stance and motion to that of a bipedal stance. The kaiju is adept at both stances and when in its upright position is even taller than Godzilla, due to the horns along the crest of its head. As a result of this ability to move between stances, Varan is far more agile than most kaiju, possessing greater speed and dexterity than the thicker heavier kaiju. While Varan possesses leaner muscle tissue it is no less strong than Godzilla.

Varan possesses an invulnerable hide. Its hide along its belly is softer but still impervious to all conventional weapons. An even harder carapace covers its head, neck, back, and along the length of its tail. This hard shell is impervious to nearly all kaiju attacks yet possesses a flexibility allowing for more movement and quicker speed. Along the crest of the head down the neck, back, and to the tip of the tail is a row of hyper dense bone-spikes. These spike-like protrusions are extensions from Varan's vertebra moving and flowing with the creature's every movement.

Perhaps Varan's most peculiar ability and trait uniquely his own are the membrane running from its wrists along down its sides to its ankles. The membrane is collapsible and easily hidden close to its limbs and torso. When expanded to full length and pulled taut the membrane enables the creature to glide through the air and even fly at speeds in excess of mach one. How this membrane allows such a heavy creature to fly has yet to be determined. A strange fog-like gas covers the area around the lake and land where Varan was discovered. It is believed that this strange gas, found nowhere else on the Earth, was expelled by the creature and that the gas was what allowed the kaiju to fly. An alternative theory was offered by one kaijuologist, Marc Cerasini, that hydrogen gases are created within tiny pores along the creature's body lifting the kaiju into the air. This theory has yet to be confirmed but so far has proven the most plausible.

And finally Varan possesses extremely sharp claws on its hands and feet, extending farther during battle like those of a cat into curved-like talons capable of carrying creatures and objects through the air. Varan also possesses powerful jaws with razor sharp teeth. Once its jaws are clamped down they are nearly impossible to force open. Varan however does not possess any range attack or energy weapon although some claim the beast has a sonic scream attack. This aforementioned attack has yet to be substantiated. 

Review: The kaiju that would be king. Varan's story is one of opportunity and broken promises. The landscape of kaiju cinema may look very different today had the plans for Varan been carried out to fruition.

The original Varan film was conceived as a joint project between Toho and an American film company. During the 1950's Toho was creating some of the most astounding monster movies the world over. Naturally Hollywood wanted a Toho produced monster movie of their own far greater than anyone had ever seen before. With a huge budget from the American studio Toho's staff set about creating a kaiju film greater than any that came before it. Toho devoted their best men to the project: legends Ishiro Honda and Eiji Tsuburaya were in charge of directing and special effects, the great Shinichi Sekizawa wrote the script, the magnificent Akira Ifukube composed the score, and the monster man himself Haruo Nakajima played the titular kaiju. With Tomoyuki Tanaka producing, this film had everything it needed to become something spectacular.

Then the American studio pulled out halfway through production taking with it the film's funding. Ishiro Honda, Eiji Tsuburaya, and the rest of Toho were left with half a movie and practically no money left to finish. Even so Toho completed the film. The result is a movie with a tremendous first half and a lack luster second half. Varan's tragedy forced Toho to completely rethink and retool the future of monster movies. No more kaiju were seen for three years in the wake of Varan's failure. Their next giant monster feature MOTHRA was a reinvention of the wheel. Kaiju after Mothra were relegated to mere cameos like Maguma and Manda. Godzilla's return in King Kong Vs Godzilla was less of a serious movie and more of a fun slapstick wrestling match celebrating Toho's 30th anniversary. It wasn't until Mothra Vs Godzilla that kaiju films really came back in force.

Had Varan been completed by both companies and resulted in the international success the companies had hoped for or at the very least become a well executed film from start to finish who knows what the history of kaiju cinema would look like today. But as a result of what had befallen the project a certain taint lingered with Varan. But someone at Toho hadn't given up on the kaiju. When Destroy All Monsters came about Varan was resurrected with plans to be an active participant in the film. But the budget for the kaiju suits was smaller than they had hoped forcing Toho to salvage what older monster suits they could, allowing new suits for only Godzilla and Anguirus. The only usable Varan suit wasn't a suit at all but an elaborate puppet that greatly limited what the character could actually do on screen. Varan was pushed to the background with less than a minute of screen time in the film.

Someone still believed in him though. After a quite different Godzilla film in GODZILLA'S REVENGE and a truly bizarre kaiju film in GODZILLA VS HEDORAH, Toho wanted to bring Godzilla back to the basics and produce a proper kaiju epic with GODZILLA VS GIGAN. Varan was set to return in a big way as he was originally planned to appear alongside Godzilla helping the king of the monsters battle Gigan and Ghidorah. Due a major decline in box office sales from previous films the budget for Godzilla's 12th outing was significantly reduced. Toho couldn't afford to make two new kaiju suits, only one. As a result Varan was replaced with Anguirus and Gigan became the only new kaiju suit created for the film. Varan had his opportunity stolen from him again.

In 1988 Varan finally received an opportunity to battle Godzilla himself albeit in a different form. Toho produced a video game for the Nintendo Entertainment System titled GODZILLA: MONSTER OF MONSTERS in which Godzilla and Mothra would traverse every planet in our solar system battling various monsters. Varan along with Moguera, Gezora, Baragon, and many of Godzilla's more popular kaiju foes were featured as antagonists within the game. It wasn't a movie but Varan was chosen to be featured in the game over many other popular kaiju like Rodan or Anguirus.

Then in 2001 Toho hired director Shusuke Kaneko, the famed director of the GAMERA TRILOGY, to inject new life into the Godzilla franchise. In Kaneko's script Anguirus, Varan, and Baragon would defend Japan against Godzilla. Once again the franchise was experiencing dwindling returns at the box office with each subsequent film. An executive decision was made by Toho. They told Kaneko to remove Varan and Anguirus for more profitable kaiju instead. Ghidorah and Mothra were forcefully inserted into the film. The designer for the kaiju suits on the film, Fuyuki Shinada, was disappointed by the studio's decision as Varan was his all time favorite kaiju. In an effort to keep some of Varan's spirit in the film Shinada borrowed Varan's facial features and added them to Ghidorah's design. Kaneko also retained Varan's origin and emergence in the film and simply swapped Varan for Mothra. 

No other kaiju has had so many chances at life renewed only to have these opportunities dashed at the last second. Over the years Varan has garnered more attention and his tragic story is becoming more well known. He is one of the most underrated kaiju with incredible potential. The wonderful kaiju design is undeniable as it remains the only true strength the kaiju has in the film world. Famed artist and kaiju fan BOB EGGLETON has said on many occasions that his second favorite monster (Godzilla always being the first) is Varan. Eggleton has been a longtime advocate for Varan producing breathtaking art and articles in magazines about the greatness that is Varan.

Since the late 90's and early 2000's Varan has resurfaced here and there. He was featured in the American young adult book GODZILLA 2000 by author Marc Cerasini as well as the childrens books Godzilla: Journey To Monster Island and Godzilla Vs the Space Monster by Scott Ciencin as well as the picture books Who's Afraid of Godzilla by Di Kaiju and Godzilla Likes to Roar by Kerry Milliron. Cover art and illustrations for all the books mentioned above were by Bob Eggleton. In 2014 and 2015 Varan appeared in the IDW comic books Godzilla: Rulers of Earth and Godzilla In Hell. In 2007 Varan was a playable character in the fighting video game Godzilla: Unleashed for the Nintendo Wii where he featured a sonic scream attack and sonic energy ball, attacks he has only possessed in this incarnation.

Varan's 8 bit NES sprite

Slowly Varan has been making more and more appearances as the years continue, becoming less obscure and more of a known entity. Media Blasters dvd distribution has helped immensely by releasing the original Japanese version of Varan The Unbelievable a.k.a. Daikaiju Baran on dvd here in North America as well as a blu ray of Destroy All Monsters. In recent years the Japanese toy company X-PLUS has released several high quality vinyl statues in Japan and in the America ranging from 12 inches tall on down. These products cost an arm and a leg but they are worth it. The sculpts for the statues are near perfect reflections of the movies.

Draco Lizard

Varan is my second favorite kaiju behind Godzilla (hence this exhaustively long post). Personally I feel his design is one of the strongest of all the kaiju from any studio. Varan's destruction of the mountain village in his 1958 film is among the best destruction scenes ever filmed. Haruo Nakajima's acting as Varan is easily his most convincing performance of his career. And Akira Ifukube's score for Varan contains themes that have gone on to become synonymous with Godzilla and kaiju films the world over. Despite Varan's relatively unknown status among his more popular kaiju brethren a lot of good came from him and his film and the potential for greatness is still there. I only hope that one day he receives the big screen resurrection that he deserves.

Threat Level: 6 out of 10

Global Destruction

Defender of Earth

For more studies in Kaijuology check out the pages below

BARAGON 

BIOLLANTE 

DAGAHRA 

DAIMAJIN 

DESGHIDORAH  

DOGORA

GABARA

GAMERA 

GANIMES

GEZORA

GIGAN 

GUIRON 

HEDORAH

KAMOEBAS

MAGUMA 

MANDA 

MATANGO 

RODAN
TITANOSAURUS

THE SAGA OF THE KING OF THE MONSTERS ~ PART 9: DESTROY ALL MONSTERS (1968)

THE QUEST FOR THE LOST GODZILLA FILM

I can vaguely remember first discovering Godzilla as a four year old child. This was the VHS era well before the advent of internet. Instant and complete information was not at the click of a button. Back then my obsession was dinosaurs (I still love them) and then dragons (thanks in large part to Peter Dickinson's THE FLIGHT OF DRAGONS and the animated film of the same name). Anyway, when I saw Godzilla it was like someone took my two favorite things and combined them for something greater than the sum of its parts. I went to my local video rental store (back when those were plentiful) and rented every Godzilla movie they had (which was maybe five or six movies in all).

One by one I tracked them all down through various means. It wasn't until discovering Jeff Rovin's book THE ENCYCLOPEDIA OF MONSTERS at my local library (this was the late 80's or early 90's) where I finally saw a complete list of Godzilla's films. There was one film in that list that remained elusive for almost a decade after that: DESTROY ALL MONSTERS. Today the most elusive Godzilla film is GODZILLA 1985 and before that it was Biollante and Megalon. But one could still find these titles easily on VHS or pirated online somewhere. Back in the 80's and 90's however DAM (Destroy All Monsters) was nowhere to be found, not on VHS, Laserdisc, or television. For me it became the Holy Grail of Godzilla films.

Reading about DAM filled my young mind with wonder and amazement. How could there be eleven monsters in a single movie? Eleven kaiju in one movie! My mind was blown at the thought of it. And to top it all off, three of the monsters were new to me: Manda, Baragon, and Varan. I had seen Manda briefly in stock footage from other Godzilla films and I only knew Baragon and Varan as enemy kaiju in the 1988 Nintendo video game GODZILLA: MONSTER OF MONSTERS.

I built this movie up in my mind as the magnum opus of Godzilla films. The end all be all kaiju epic. The fact that it remained hidden from me for years added all sorts of mystique and intrigue around it. My pursuit of this film was like a treasure hunt. Then in the late 90's/early 2000's while combing through the TV Guide I saw DAM listed on the Sci-Fi Channel (a premium channel at the time). My household only had basic cable! Through a convoluted web of personal connections I found someone who not only had the Sci-Fi Channel but was also willing to record DAM for me on VHS! My quest had reached its end!

Art by Yasushi Torisawa

THE PLOT

In the year 1999 mankind has established a manned outpost on the moon and has regular flights to the moon through advanced rocket ships. On Earth all of the monsters have been collected and contained within a small chain of islands called Monsterland for observation and study. One day Monsterland is attacked by alien invaders calling themselves the Kilaaks. The Kilaaks control the monsters and set them loose on the world destroying major cities around the globe. The Japanese Self-Defense Force, scientists, along with the brave men of the moon rocket SY-3 successfully free earth's kaiju from Kilaak control. The monsters gather at the base of Mount Fuji to battle King Ghidorah in the final conflict to decide the fate of the Earth.

THE GOOD

Kaiju, kaiju everywhere! Let's face it, the only reason we want to see this movie is for the monsters and for the most part this film delivers. The monster role call at the beginning of the film is wondrous to behold. Thanks to beautiful DVD and Blu Ray clarity you can see in more detail the monsters in the monitoring room too, our first tiny glimpses of Varan, Baragon, and Manda in the film. The final kaiju role call at the end of the film is even better, my first time ever seeing Baragon and Varan in close-up glory. But the first big moment is the convergence on Tokyo. Godzilla, Rodan, Manda, and Mothra all attacking Tokyo at once is a major highlight of the film for me. Manda's inclusion in the this sequence, for me, is the standout piece. But everything pales in comparison to the grand battle at Aokigahara.

Art by Yasushi Torisawa

Special Effects Precision. Of all the Godzilla films in the Showa Era none come close to the special effects demands of DAM because no other Godzilla film contained this many monsters. Supervised by the man himself, Eiji Tsuburaya and helmed by Sadamasa Arikawa, the special effects in this movie are nothing short of brilliant. When you watch this movie keep in mind that nearly every monster has wires attached to them. When you have five monsters on screen battling each other you never see a wire and the illusion of these monsters battling is fully realized without any misstep or flaw. That means the actors in their hundred pound kaiju suits knew their blocking, hit all their marks, and the wire-works teams hit all their ques. Add in the explosions, beautiful miniature and breakaway sets, totally convincing matte paintings, and animated energy beams and one's mind is blown that such a sequence exists on celluloid. No CGI. All practical. Mind blown? Yes.

The monsters global assault with Baragon attacking Paris

The Acting. With one or two exceptions (the guy who gets shot in the head on Monsterland), all the actors in the film bring their A-game. To add to the overall serious tone of the film the actors bring a genuine gravitas to their performances. Yoshio Tsuchiya especially stands out even though he is only in the movie for a brief period. Akira Kubo play the man of action and does so without going too over the top. Add in quality supporting roles from Jun Tazaki and Yukiko Kobayashi and Destroy All Monsters stands firm on both the human character front and kaiju front.

The global assault we never got to see.

THE BAD

When I first saw this film it was with a horrible English dub. For most of my Godzilla film viewings I had the high quality AIP dubs to listen to. But this particular dub for DAM was so bad it detracted from my enjoyment of the film. The monster scenes were fantastic but I could barely stand the dubbing. I hated the dubbing so much that when the first DVD release by ADV Films came out I passed on it because that was the only audio choice on the disc. Luckily when the first North American blu ray release debuted it contained the long lost AIP dub of DAM. At last a quality English dub is at my disposal and it is good. Sadly the dubs for the DVD and blu rays of Sea Monster, Son of Godzilla, and Hedorah lack the AIP dub and contain only the horrid International dubs. If anyone is listening please rectify this sin as the AIP dubs (available on VHS only) are far superior.

The original ADV dvd/vhs release cover

Kaiju Inequality. This movie, for me, lives up to the hype. I love it. But it didn't come without a few disappointments. Baragon, Varan, and Manda. Manda doesn't take part in the final battle, but at least Manda had the wonderful monorail attack in the middle of the film (one of my personal highlights of the film). Baragon and Varan receive practically nothing to do in the film whatsoever. As someone who had seen every other Godzilla film aside from this one, I was personally looking forward to seeing the kaiju I was least familiar with the most. I had already seen multiple wonderful representations of Mothra, Rodan, Anguirus, and Ghidorah. Having seen Godzilla Vs Gigan before DAM, Anguirus' battle with Ghidorah was old news. Gorosaurus was fine but he's still a fairly uninspired kaiju (an homage to the Tyrannosaurus Rex that King Kong fights in the original 1933 classic). Gorosaurus is a great kaiju to be sure but he's so bland next to Baragon and Varan.

I only knew Baragon and Varan from the old NES video game and I looked forward to seeing them on screen more so than any other kaiju in the film. They even teased us with a kaiju burrowing into Paris but where it should have been Baragon the kaiju is replaced by Gorosaurus (as if we wouldn't notice! Baragon is even mentioned by name as the kaiju responsible for the Paris attack). Having read several books and done some research I have learned why they are both relegated to simple cameos. The film's budget was minimal and they could only afford to make two new kaiju suits, that of Godzilla and Anguirus. The Baragon suit was in too poor of condition to do much with save a cameo. And the Varan figure was only a high quality puppet used for publicity shots back in 1958. Even now knowing the reasons why, I am still disappointed. However, this did lead me to Baragon and Varan's other film appearances and Varan eventually became my second favorite kaiju behind Godzilla. Little silver linings.

A still of the famous deleted scene from Destroy All Monsters

Destroy All Monsters also contains the holy grail of deleted scenes. During the Tokyo Assault there was a sequence where Manda coiled up the height of a skyscraper. The building eventually collapses under Manda's constrictive pressure when Godzilla happens to be passing by. As a result Manda collides with Godzilla and two kaiju enter a brief tussle. This is the closest we'll ever get to see a Showa Era Godzilla Vs Manda battle. I was fortunate to find this deleted scene on Youtube several years ago. Sadly the video has since been taken down and as of now no North American release of DAM has this scene as a special feature. Why this isn't included on the disc yet the footage floats around on the internet is a mystery and a shame. I'd buy the movie again if this deleted scene was added or better yet cut back into the film as an extended director's cut. Someone with power please make this so.

Ode to what could've been

As with many ideas for movies, sometimes the original concept is far greater than what actually makes it to the screen. There are a few Godzilla movies in the franchise that would look quite different had the original ideas made it to the screen. One of them wouldn't even be a Godzilla film had the original concept carried through. With Destroy All Monsters the pieces left on the table would've only made the film grander and more impressive. And they would've erased any disappointments I'd have with the film.

Art by Fourgreen.

Varan and Baragon were originally supposed to have much bigger parts. Varan was supposed to aid the monsters in the final battle, taking to the air and tag-teaming Ghidorah with Rodan in an epic aerial fight sequence. Promotional art for the film depicts some of these ideas showing Varan battling in mid-flight. In addition to this both Manda and Baragon were to battle Ghidorah as well. Regardless of what some scholars have said Baragon was supposed to have been the kaiju to attack Paris (it fits Baragon's character far more appropriately than it does Gorosaurus who, in reality, couldn't burrow. It's just not physically possible for Gorosaurus to burrow. Look at his arms). Baragon was also supposed to be one of the kaiju defenders of the Kilaak Earth base along with another kaiju who was cut from the film entirely: MAGUMA.

Maguma and Baragon defending the Kilaak Base on Earth. Art by Fourgreen.

Yes, the seldom seen Toho kaiju Maguma was originally supposed to be in the movie as well. The kaiju walrus was supposed to aid Baragon in defending the Kilaaks from the JSDF and of course take part in the epic finale. Personally I would've loved to have seen Maguma receive a proper monster role in a film instead of the six minute afterthought from Gorath. And on top of all of this promotional art exists depicting both Ebirah and Odako (the giant octopus from King Kong Vs Godzilla and War of the Gargantuas taking part in the film as well. However given their nature the inclusion of these two kaiju seems slightly problematic but I'm sure Toho had a plan) Alas the filmmakers were not given enough money to realize everything they had originally wanted. Such is the fact for most films. There is only so much time a film can run and so much money at the studio's disposal. Had all these things happened Destroy All Monsters would be even more epic than it already is and maybe it would've launched other underrated kaiju into renewed stardom.

Odako, Ebirah, Maguma, Varan, and Godzilla all in the same scene.

THE VERDICT

The movie's plot is basically a lesser repeat version of INVASION OF ASTRO MONSTER a.k.a. MONSTER ZERO, but no other kaiju film from any studio in the Showa Era comes close to matching the number of kaiju featured nor the sheer spectacle of effects displayed in DESTROY ALL MONSTERS. Destroy All Monsters is a benchmark for all kaiju films no matter the era. Godzilla: Final Wars attempted to remake DAM and ended up being a big episode of Power Rangers with a lot of Matrix influences thrown in. Final Wars doesn't even come close to touching Destroy All Monsters in my opinion. DAM is the AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR of kaiju films.

Overall Ranking: 9 out of 10

Nigh Perfect! Makes it into my Top Ten. A Rarity.

 

Category: Transcendence

(a movie appreciated by all ages)

Missed a chapter in the saga? Get caught up as we continue the countdown to number one!

Part 10: Godzilla's Revenge (1969) 
Part 11: Godzilla Vs The Smog Monster (1971)
Part 12: Godzilla Vs Gigan (1972)
Part 13: Godzilla Vs Megalon (1973)
Part 14: Godzilla Vs Mechagodzilla (1974)
Part 15: Terror of Mechagodzilla (1975)    
Part 16: The Return of Godzilla (1984)  

Part 17: Godzilla Vs Biollante (1989)       
Part 18: Godzilla Vs King Ghidorah (1991)   
Part 19: Godzilla Vs Mothra (1992)      
Part 20: Godzilla Vs Mechagodzilla II (1993)
Part 21: Godzilla Vs Spacegodzilla (1994)
Part 22: Godzilla Vs Destoroyah (1995)
Part ???? Tri-Star's Godzilla (1998)
Part 23: Godzilla 2000 (1999)
Part 24: Godzilla Vs Megaguirus (2000)
Part 25: GMK Giant Monsters All-Out Attack (2001)
Part 26: Godzilla Against Mechagodzilla (2002)
Part 27: Godzilla: Tokyo S.O.S. (2003)
Part 28: Godzilla: Final Wars (2004)    
Legendary's Godzilla (2014)

SILVER TONGUED SILVER SCREEN: THE CONJURING 2 (2016)

In 2013 a horror film debuted that scared audiences in ways few films have. It wasn't so scary it stopped being entertaining, it wasn't too gory as to churn people's stomachs. But it was so scary that the hardcore horror fans loved. It was so scary that people who aren't horror fans loved it too. It was so scary that people went back to see it again and again to see if it was still scary the second and third time around... and it was. All this while being only PG-13. That film was called THE CONJURING and has become one of the most financially and critically successful horror films in years.

I am big fan of horror cinema (in case you didn't know). I've seen all kinds from domestic to imported, slashers to monsters, ghosts to possessions, and horror/comedy to soul-crushing brutality. Having run the gamut of horror films, I enjoyed the hell out of The Conjuring ranking it among some of my favorite horror films of all time and my number 2 favorite film of 2013. It is one of the most effectively entertaining horror films ever, in my opinion, surpassing its sister films INSIDIOUS and ANNABELLE.

That being said, I enjoyed the hell out of THE CONJURING 2.

THE PLOT

Ed and Lorraine Warren have entered the Lutz House in Amityville with hopes of exorcising the spirits within. What Lorraine sees in one of her visions shakes her to the very foundation of her being. Several thousand miles away in England another family is plagued by a haunting eerily similar to the incident in Amityville. Europe's experts believe it to be a hoax. The Catholic Church enlists Ed and Lorraine to evaluate the situation. What they find is far more malevolent than what happened at Amityville.

THE GOOD

Light vs Darkness. The Warrens are real people and closest thing to real life Ghostbusters. Naturally the Conjuring films have a balance of light and dark within them as the Warrens probably would've wanted it. Some horror films tend to dive so deep into the darkness that the light of the story is all but lost. The Conjuring 2 is loaded with scares, some potent enough to shake long time horror fans like myself. But the force for good is always present. The film strikes a balance between good and evil that helps one endure the scares all the while knowing that hope still exists. It is my belief that the success of the Conjuring and the sequel in some part is due to how well balanced they are.

The Scares. This film delivers some truly effective scares. Depending on who you talk to, the scare that effected them the most ranges from person to person. That right there is an extraordinary accomplishment and testament to how well done this film is. Not only is there one good scare but there are many of equal or greater potency. Director James Wan has fear figured out to a science, what is needed where and how to execute with precision. His other films Saw, Dead Silence, Insidious, Insidious Chapter 2, and the Conjuring all have a high level of scares in them. The Conjuring 2 can be added to the list.

Valek. Unholy hell, that is one scary character. Single handedly makes the movie for me. Whoever designed this character deserves a Fear Medal or Horror Award.

THE BAD

CGI. If there was anything I'd change about the film it would be the few instances of CGI effects used in the film. The character of the Crooked Man is completely CGI rendered and for me personally the effect doesn't gel with the rest of the movie. The separation between effect and reality is too obvious and striking. Likewise another CGI effect towards the end of the movie feels similarly. Then there are some tonal shifts and music choices near the opening of the film that feel a little too commercial to me and not as ominous as it could've been. But the first Conjuring had these as well but for some reason they didn't seem as jarring as the ones in Conjuring 2. It's a nitpick I'll probably get over after the second viewing. All in all I really liked this movie.

THE VERDICT

Director James Wan has fear down to a science. The Conjuring 2 is almost perfect in it's execution of tension, suspense, and scares. It's just a hair below in quality compared to the first Conjuring thanks to a half realized CGI effect. Even with that bland effect the film delivers some truly terrifying moments and contains one of the scariest characters ever realized on screen. Very scary. Very good. Worthy of adding to the collection and multiple viewings.

Overall Ranking: 7 out of 10

For more films by James Wan and good movies about hauntings check out these others

Annabelle (2014)

Insidious (2011)

Insidious Chapter 3 (2015)

Sinister (2012)

Deliver Us From Evil (2014)

 

Carnival of Souls (1962)

 

SUSPENDED ANIMATION: CYBORG 009 VS DEVILMAN (2015)

One of Japan's seminal manga creators is none other than GO NAGAI. He has created some of Japan's most influential works in the medium like Mazinger Z (essentially creating the "super-hero giant robot" series), Cutie Honey, Violence Jack, and Devilman along with many others. His artistic style too has been emulated and borrowed by many other Japanese creators in both the comic form and animation. And then there is the longtime enduring character Cyborg 009, another beloved Japanese manga created by Shotaro Ishinomori. Cyborg 009 and Devilman have become icons in their own right and have continued to endure for decades.

I'll admit I don't know as much about CYBORG 009 as I'd like, whether it's the anime or the manga. I remember watching Cyborg 009 when it was in syndication, making its American television debut on Cartoon Network but the stay was brief. On the flip side I am a fan of the Go Nagai character DEVILMAN and have been for quite some time. At some point last year I came across news that both characters would be crossing over in a short anime series amounting to basically a movie in length. This show is now up on NETFLIX and I couldn't resist. I used to be much heavier into anime than I am now but with a show like this I could dive in deep again.

This show is bloody, armed to the teeth with action, and 100% awesome.

THE PLOT

Cyborg 009 and the other prototype cyborgs have just defeated the Mythos Cyborgs in an epic and earth-shattering battle. Upon returning home they discover that their arch enemy Black Ghost may be planning at new attack, melding demons with cyborgs. Meanwhile Akira Fudo a.k.a. Devilman has just defeated the vile demon Jinmen freeing the spirits of the victims on Jinmen's shell. Later while tracking another demon into the remote wilderness outside the city Devilman encounters Cyborg 009 in his own pursuit of a demon. The two heroes clash only to discover an even larger vile plan approaching fruition. Can they join forces to stop these evil machinations or will they destroy one another first?

THE GOOD

Nostalgia. Tapping into old memories is becoming quite the lucrative business. Jurassic World and Star Wars: The Force Awakens have made a killing on essentially giving audiences a flash from the past. Cyborg 009 Vs Devilman has a similar experience too as it feels like one has just stepped back to the early 1970's and rediscovered a long lost love. The animation is of course updated and gorgeous with a few character design updates as well, most notably to the demons and Devilman although Devilman retains his classic 70's color pallet. The Cyborgs for the most part look like the spitting image of their old anime selves as well as Akira and Miki. The story and dialog even possess an old-fashioned chauvinistic quality to them as if it were a product of the 70's. Director Jun Kawagoe and writer Tadashi Hayakawa succeed in capturing the feeling and presence of these classic characters.

Something old and something new. If you know your Cyborg 009 and Devilman history you are in store for a treat as the anime legitimately finds a spot within both character histories to interject the crossover. Writer Tadashi Hayakawa really did his research and appears to be a fan of the characters. The Cyborgs have the majority of screen time between the two but both sets of characters are treated well and given new adversaries to battle in addition to fighting among themselves. And in the final act a new enemy emerges that combines elements of both stories forcing 009 and Akira to join forces in a sprawling action packed finale.

THE BAD

It's short! This is actually a strength of the anime which in turn has become a fault. It left me wanting more. Compared to Cyborg 009, Devilman has had relatively few animation features. Even if one were to include the full anime series of Devil Lady and Demon Lord Dante it still wouldn't match the catalog of Cyborg 009. I want more Devilman. This series did a wonderful job of resurrecting the character, combining Yu Kinutani's amazing millennial redesigns with the classic 70's anime depiction. The result is sheer genius and it is over and done with in under 90 minutes. Like I said, maybe this is a testament to how well done the anime is. But seriously, I want more. I demand more!

THE VERDICT

Two classic manga/anime franchises collide in the most epic crossover since Marvel Vs DC or Capcom Vs SNK. Both franchises receive their due justice, perfect for fans of either characters. If you love Devilman you'll love this anime. If you love Cyborg 009 you'll love this anime. If all crossovers were treated with this amount of care and detail everybody would be doing them. The only major drawback to this is the anime is over and done with inside of 90 minutes. Savor the flavor because it doesn't last long. And stay through to the end of the credits. There's an extra couple scenes which I hope will lead into a sequel, hope hope hope. Netflix has this streamable so check it out!

Overall Ranking: 8 out of 10

Nude-O-Meter: 3 out of 10

For more great anime titles be sure to check out these

Blood-C    
Mobile Suit Gundam 0079
Vampire Hunter D (1985)

SILVER TONGUED SILVER SCREEN: X-MEN ~ APOCALYPSE (2016)

The first X-Men film was released in 2000. What director Bryan Singer, the cast, and crew of that film created is still being felt today, stronger than ever. The original X-Men helped open the door for the incredibly popular and successful super-hero/comic book film genre. X2: X-Men United (2003) is one of my personal favorite super hero movies of all time. On the original release DVD of X2, buried deep in the special features, are concept designs for Sentinels and the character Archangel teasing at what Bryan Singer had in mind for X3.

It's been over a decade since then and we have finally been able to see those plans come to the big screen, albeit not in the way they were originally intended. What was supposed to be the trilogy capper after X2, the third film in the series, has instead become the ninth film in the franchise and the trilogy capper for the second trilogy in the series which began with X-Men: First Class and continued through X-Men: Days of Future Past. Mixed in there are two Wolverine films and a Deadpool film for a total of nine X-Men movies. The X-Men, for being just another hero team in the Marvel Universe, are a universe unto themselves.

THE PLOT

The first Mutant, En Sabah Nur a.k.a. Apocalypse, has awoken from a several thousand year sleep. It's been ten years since Magneto's attack and Mystique's saving of the world. The world is now fully aware of mutants but still unsure of trusting them. Apocalypse believes himself a God incarnate with a destiny to destroy the world of men and build a new world for his mutant brethren. Apocalypse has near infinite power, recruiting four mutants as his envoy, his horseman, and endowing them with a portion of his power. Apocalypse sets out to achieve his namesake and only Professor Xavier and his X-Men are the ones capable of stopping him.

THE GOOD

The Cast. With a few exceptions the total recasting of the original X-Men team is complete. Cyclops, Jean Grey, Storm, and Nightcrawler finally return, depicted as high school students, and portrayed by a new set of actors. I liked the new actors very much. They fit their roles very well and delivered fantastic performances. I do hope to see these actors return in these roles in the future. Along with that I enjoyed Oliva Munn as Psylocke, another welcomed addition I hope to see return. Nicholas Hoult does a wonderful job as Beast yet again and Michael Fassbender is the perfect Magneto. Really everyone in the movie is great. And Storm's mohawk is totally awesome.

Quicksilver and Wolverine. Evan Peters returns as Quicksilver and, for me, steals the show. His big scene in the movie is tied for my favorite moment in the film. All around he is a delight to watch and a great addition to every scene he's in. The other person who steals the show for me only has one scene in the film, but it is the only other scene that matches Quicksilver's big scene in terms of  power, spectacle, and pure entertainment: Wolverine. He's barely in the movie but when he shows up you forget everything else. Hugh Jackman is Wolverine. And you can't have an X-Men movie without him, at least in some capacity. Even his less than ten second cameo in First Class is memorable.

THE PSA MESSAGE

 
No movie is perfect. The following criticisms are not a fault of the movie or anything that's bad or wrong with it. These are just a few of the aspects of the film, choices on the part of the filmmakers, that I wish had been done differently. I feel like I have to say this due to the public service message they played before the film began, in which actress Alexandra Shipp informs us of just how many people worked so hard to bring the movie to the screen. This message is also reiterated at the end of the film as well. The general message I gathered from this was to urge those of the online community, in particular the overly opinionated, belligerent, and unnecessarily rude individuals, to think of everything that goes into making a movie of this size and how much blood, sweat, and tears were poured into it. Online fan-rage seems to be escalating everyday and is becoming quite disconcerting.

Basically, if you disliked the movie that's okay, just don't be a jerk about it. So, without further adieu...

THE BAD

(things I wish had been done differently)

Apocalypse himself. Oscar Isaac does a wonderful job as Apocalypse. I really enjoyed his performance. But I find myself wishing that the filmmakers had rendered him completely in CGI. The Apocalypse I know and love from the comic books always seemed taller and bigger than any normal human being. This is the same case with Michael Chiklis' Ben Grimm from the original Fantastic Four films. The performer is perfect but the on-screen rendition doesn't quite capture the stature of the character. I wish they had made Archangel blue-skinned too. I realize there was already a large number of blue-skinned characters in the film and I can see why they didn't go that route with Angel. But still. This brings me to my next point.

Mutation. One aspect of the X-Men franchise that has always been present is the seemingly carefree adaptation of the stories and characters. I understand the concept of adapting. I know not everything can be translated from the source material to the screen. And that sometimes to make stories gel, especially from sequel to sequel, necessary changes sometimes have to be made in order to serve the overall narrative. But with the X-Men films, most pointedly with X-Men Origins: Wolverine and then onto X-Men: First Class certain characters and certain stories can scarcely be considered shades of their comic book counterparts.

Just to give you an idea of what I mean imagine if Bellatrix LeStrange was a good guy in the Harry Potter movies? Or if Neville Longbottom had been a badguy? Would you be okay with that even if the movies had made it work? The X-Men movies have done similar things with their adaptations.

X-Men: First Class was a good film but nowhere near accurate to the source material. The Wolverine, while being quite a bit different from the source story, felt true to the feeling and inspiration of the comic book. Days of Future Past likewise felt as if Bryan Singer was reigning in the chaos of the previous wild adaptations and creating a more recognizable X-Men film universe. With Apocalypse it seems as if the story is regressing to a more freestyle adaptation. It works for the film and is not a bad thing at all. But it becomes frustrating when one finally receives characters from the comics that they've been wishing for and hoping for and the film version's likeness is only skin deep.

What's more is that this particular franchise has been doing this to X-Men characters for over a decade. For myself, this is where the X-Men films remain good movies but stop short of becoming great movies (with a few exceptions of course). They've got the tools. They've got the talent. That's why it is so frustrating for me. While watching X-Men: Apocalypse (and other X-films) I experience this roller-coaster of feelings rising and falling between saying to myself "This is amazing!" and then saying "What the heck are they doing?"

THE VERDICT

X-Men: Apocalypse is another wonderful addition to the X-franchise. The new actors are great and there are some truly uncanny show stealing moments very few super hero films have matched. Comparing it to the other films in the series it is one of the stronger films in the franchise. I'd say I enjoyed Days of Future Past only slightly better. I look forward to seeing where the series goes from here especially seeing more from Cyclops, Jean, Nightcrawler, Storm, and the rest of the new cast.

Overall Ranking: 6 out of 10

(above average. worth the price)

For more X-Men check out these reviews below

X-MEN: DAYS OF FUTURE PAST (2014)

DEADPOOL (2016)