THE SAGA OF THE KING OF THE MONSTERS ~ PART 16: THE RETURN OF GODZILLA a.k.a. GODZILLA 1985

Godzilla disappeared from the big screen for nine years. From 1976 to 1983 there were no more Godzilla films. The series went into hibernation. With the approach of Godzilla's 30th anniversary a new movie came out. A reboot of the series, a direct sequel to the original film titled THE RETURN OF GODZILLA a.k.a. GODZILLA 1985. Now given that it is the month of November, the month in which original 1954 Godzilla film debuted, it is only right that we celebrate the King of the Monsters birthday with the only other Godzilla film to capture the essence of the original. The sixteenth film in the franchise.

Part 16 saw not just the return of the classic kaiju but also the serious tensions and nuclear panic. It is the only other movie beside the original film featuring Godzilla by himself, no other kaiju. His look is redesigned to appear more menacing and frightening. Released during the Cold War era, this movie showcased the modern terror of a real life nuclear war moments away from occurring and the very real possibility of a nuclear bomb being dropped on a major city. Boasting the best special effects of the series to that point, a realism unseen since the first two black and white films, and a genuine terror if such a catastrophe were to ever happen. This movie brought Godzilla back in a big way. The series was reborn.

THE PLOT

It's been 30 years since Godzilla devastated Japan. When a lone survivor of a missing fishing ship is found and brought back to Tokyo, his story about what happened to his fellow fishermen aboard the ship silences everyone. The Japanese Prime Minister and his cabinet meet to discuss the fisherman's story. As to not plunge the country into panic they decide to keep the story quiet. When a Russian nuclear submarine vanishes just outside Japanese waters the event becomes an international incident. The terrifying truth is revealed to the world: Godzilla has returned.

The colossal beast attacks a nuclear power plant, absorbing all the nuclear energy before returning to the sea. Then he emerges from the ocean depths in Tokyo Bay. The Japanese Self-Defense Forces attack the monster, unleashing every weapon at their disposal except the nuclear option. No matter how grim the situation, the Japanese Prime Minister cannot allow another nuclear bomb to devastate Japanese soil. But Godzilla destroys JSDF and advances into Tokyo. A Russian ship docked in the harbor, housing a secret military missile guidance system, accidentally launches a nuclear missile from a satellite in orbit. The Japanese and the rest of the world quickly receive word of the impending nuclear strike, a bomb blast 50 times that of Hiroshima. Godzilla must be stopped, but what will be left of Japan afterwards?

THE GOOD

Grim realism. With the exception of the original film the subject matter has never been presented so straight-forward and terrifying. Imagine a nuclear bomb being launched and heading directly to your town or city? Then imagine that there is a hurricane or tornado on the ground devastating the city as the nuclear missile is closing in. That's the way this movie treats Godzilla. The actors play it straight faced, the film score is serious and powerful. This is similar to the look and feel of the original 1954 Godzilla. Of all the 28 Godzilla film sequels currently in existence, Godzilla 1985 comes the closest to capturing the spirit of the original and what Godzilla, in my opinion, truly is: nuclear devastation personified, a force of nature.

The suit. Godzilla looks villainous and downright evil in this movie. Not since Mothra vs Godzilla in 1964 has he looked so menacing. Gone is the amphibian frog-like face from the 70's films. Now they've given him a more sinister appearance with fangs and a wrathful gaze. The details on the skin show brilliantly in the photography appearing more lifelike than ever before. They've given him more facial movement too like blinking eyelids, grimacing lips, and more allowing for the most expressive Godzilla up to that time. They even show his chest rising and falling as he breaths. After watching every Godzilla film from the 50's, 60's, and 70's and then watching Godzilla 1985 it's like you've never truly seen the king of the monsters until now.

The special effects. Godzilla films have often been the butt of many special effects jokes about seeing wires, bad models, and zippers showing on kaiju costumes. Some of these are unfounded and other are true. But no such jokes can easily be made here. I just went on about how good the kaiju costume was and the scale models and atomic breath special effects are just as good. The cityscapes and structures look believable and impressive. Seeing Godzilla amid modern skyscrapers and technology is a sight to behold. All this and that which I spoke of above elevate Godzilla to a whole new playing field. Again, you've never seen a Godzilla movie like this.

THE BAD

Godzilla's wonky eye. It's easy to ignore but just as easy to notice in a few shots that Godzilla is kind of cross-eyed. And then it seems like his eyes are looking in two totally different directions. It's only in a few shots amounting to less than a minute of footage. But it's there. Overall it is such a little nit picky complaint. After having seen both the original Japanese version and the recut and reedited American version I have to say that I prefer the American version. I feel it has less problems and cut the really fake looking special effects that were present in the original Japanese print. I guess what I'm saying is that there are more problems with the film in its original version than the US recut. This truly a rare occurrence where the US version exceeds the original. 

THE VERDICT

As a child this film frightened me. There's a sequence near the beginning where some of the main characters are attacked by a mutated giant sea louse that scared the hell out of me. You see several corpses of the victims of this thing and they are desiccated and horrific. It was also weird seeing my hero portrayed as a cold emotionless destroyer. I remained conflicted throughout the whole film as to how I felt about it. Seeing him looking so real was amazing though! At the end when Godzilla is lured into a volcano and seemingly dies... I cried. Like really broke down crying. I couldn't watch this movie for years without crying my eyes out. I hated seeing my hero die and in turn I found it difficult to watch the movie.

Now I think it is one of the best films in the entire franchise, maybe even second best, the original being the undeniable king. The subtext and allegories originally associated with the character return. This is the only Godzilla film to not have a stateside dvd release yet. I own the VHS and have a bootleg copy on DVD. I hope one day to see a legit dvd/blu ray release. Until then it's VHS or bootleg dvd.

Overall Ranking: 8 out of 10

0) Hate (Rational or Irrational)

1) Pure garbage with literally nothing to take away from

2) A lesson in what not to do.

3) So bad it's funny

4) Sub par. Shouldn't have spent the money

5) Good. Average.

6) Above Average.Worth the Price

7) Really Good! One Worth Owning

8) Great! Everyone Needs to Experience This! The New Standard

9) Nigh Perfect! Makes it into my Top Ten. A Rarity.

10) Leaves a lasting impression on my life. Above repute.

Category: Transcendence

 If you liked it as a kid you'll love it more as an adult.

Get caught up on the saga! Check out these other posts on our countdown to part 1!

Part 17: Godzilla Vs Biollante (1989) 

Part 18: Godzilla Vs King Ghidorah (1991) 

Part 19: Godzilla Vs Mothra (1992) 

Part 20: Godzilla Vs Mechagodzilla II (1993)
Part 21: Godzilla Vs Spacegodzilla (1994)
Part 22: Godzilla Vs Destoroyah (1995)
Part ???? Tri-Star's Godzilla (1998)
Part 23: Godzilla 2000 (1999)
Part 24: Godzilla Vs Megaguirus (2000)
Part 25: GMK Giant Monsters All-Out Attack (2001)
Part 26: Godzilla Against Mechagodzilla (2002)
Part 27: Godzilla: Tokyo S.O.S. (2003)
Part 28: Godzilla: Final Wars (2004)
Legendary's Godzilla (2014) 

SILVER TONGUED SILVER SCREEN: SPECTRE

With a few exceptions I have always been more of a passive fan when it comes to secret agent JAMES BOND. I wait for the Bond films to come to me instead of actively seeking them out and watching them over and over like I do with some other franchises. Basically this is me saying that I like Bond films but I am by no means an expert. I have seen the last 5 Bond films in theaters and hope to keep that tradition going for as long as I am able and as long as they keep being made. That being said, I enjoyed SPECTRE quite a bit but it wasn't as good as I was hoping.

SPECTRE is the 24th official Bond film to hit theaters and the 4th film in the Daniel Craig reboot series. Craig is now tied with Pierce Brosnan for number of films in the franchise. Director Sam Mendes returns from the last film, SKYFALL (an unprecedented success and top box office earner for the entire franchise), and everyone is hoping he and Craig can outdo themselves this time around, but sadly it doesn't look like they will. One of the reasons I am a passive fan of the franchise is that, personally, I feel the Bond films haven't really "gone for the throat" so to speak. They have always been fun films but never great films (this coming from the guy who watches Friday the 13th Part V and Godzilla VS Megalon over and over again).

With CASINO ROYALE I was finally blown away with a Bond film. I really enjoyed Casino Royale, so much so that I had considered going in for one of those mega box sets with every Bond film inside. QUANTUM OF SOLACE lost a little of that momentum for me. It felt more like the final act of Casino Royale rather than its own movie. But then Skyfall comes out and I'm right back where I was after Casino Royale. It now appears to be the trend that every odd numbered Bond film (at least with Daniel Craig's entries) are incredible and every even numbered Bond film is simply fine (put "fine" in front of dining or wine and you've really got something!).

THE PLOT (spoilers ((as if you didn't know)))

M (Judi Dench) has been killed. In her last moments she sends Bond a message: Look into a man named Sciarra. James goes off book on a secret mission unbeknownst to MI6 and locates Sciarra on his own terrorist mission in Mexico City during the Day of the Dead celebrations. Bond thwarts his terrorist plot but in doing so uncovers a deeper darker mystery. Meanwhile, the 00 (double "O") program and nearly all of MI6 is either being shut down or merging with a new multinational global intelligence agency.

M (Ralph Fiennes) doesn't trust the person in charge of the merger, a man called "C". Bond, continuing his secret investigation, discovers a group of criminal masterminds calling themselves S.P.E.C.T.R.E. What he finds is that this group has been directly responsible for everything that has gone wrong in his life and the man in charge of it all, Ernst Blofled, is calling Bond out, daring him to do something to stop them. Spectre's reach travels farther than Bond knows for they have a man inside MI6 who is about to connect them to every secret agency across the globe.

THE GOOD

The connectivity. If you've read my previous reviews you know that continuity is a big deal for me. I view it as a reward for having seen (or read or played depending on what we're talking about) all the previous films, books, or video games that have come before. If you've seen all the previous Daniel Craig Bond films the power of this movie is doubled. Everything, literally everything, that has happened to Bond in the previous three films is because of this group Spectre. There are countless little details referencing the previous movies, little stabs at James Bond's heart, all throughout the film. Now that James Bond is finally aware of Spectre the gravity of the film increases dramatically. It was so much fun sitting in the theater looking for these details.

The actors. Daniel Craig is still proving that he is one of the best Bonds in the franchise (although I sensed a little fatigue from the actor but not enough to hurt his performance). The regular players like M, Moneypenny, Q, and Tanner are given more to do in this film and every one of them rises to the occasion. Christoph Waltz takes on the villainous role of Ernst Blofeld (a role once played by one of my favorite actors, DONALD PLEASENCE), the legendary evil mastermind of the franchise. Waltz, ever since INGLORIOUS BASTERDS, seems to be typecast as villains in films, with a few exceptions of course. He does a fine job here but is overshadowed by another, smaller, bigger, villain. The standout villain in this movie is Dave Bautista as evil henchman Mr. Hinx. He and Bond have the most memorable action sequence in the film and he seems like a legitimate problem for Bond, more so than Blofeld.

Bond girls Monica Bellucci and Lea Seydoux

Oh yeah, Monica Bellucci makes a brief appearance as Sciarra's widow. The woman is 51 years old and still one of the most gorgeous women on the planet. She may be the oldest Bond Girl in the history of the franchise but "Wowza!" And, unbeknownst to myself, Judi Dench returns for one last appearance as M and it is always a pleasure to see her in the series. And I got to do a quick mention of the sound design for the film. I was all alone in the auditorium and the sound was amazing. And the opening sequence during the Day of the Dead festival was freaking sweet. All in all there is a lot of good in this film, which means the bad in it is all the more striking to counter all that good.

THE BAD

Simple resolutions. The setup in this movie is wonderful. The build up of Spectre and Blofeld is fantastic. But once Bond is off to stop the badguys everything seems to come to him and he seems to solve the problems with relative ease. Everything seems to fall in place in a predictable and unimaginative way. Again, the actors do a good job and everything is filmed well. But the climaxes aren't as engaging nor as exciting as Skyfall or Casino Royale. As a result the second half of the movie brings down the wonderful build up of the first half.

Spectre and Hydra one in the same?

More of the same. Between Skyfall in 2012 and Spectre we have seen many good spy movies come out. The one film which director Mendes should have looked at more closely, in my opinion, is CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER. Essentially the same movie as Spectre only far more effective (Hydra and Spectre even have the same emblem). By seemingly repeating what that film did and doing it less effectively is the major failing of this movie. This was supposed to be a major grand stand for the Bond franchise and instead it is one of the weaker spy films to have been released in the last three years. I came into the theater really wanting to like this movie. I still do like it. But instead of adapting and becoming something great like its predecessor, it slipped into familiar territory and danced the same dance as previous movies.

THE VERDICT

The standout villain of the film, Mr. Hinx played by Dave Bautista

What should've been the biggest Bond film in the history of franchise (the budget for the film was $245 million according to Box Office Mojo) comes across as just another generic spy movie. For the film to be considered a success it would need to gross more than $350 million. As of this review it is sitting at $160 million. This is not good for the future of the franchise. I had high hopes for the next two Bond films too and now it looks like neither will see the light of day. We will probably see another reboot of the franchise next time around. And this disappoints me.

The Bond films should be held to a higher standard. They should be the ones setting the standard and not the ones missing the mark. The expectations for director Sam Mendes's second Bond outing were high, maybe too high. Maybe it's one of those situations like THE LORD OF THE RINGS versus THE HOBBIT where replicating the magic and experience of the first, then trying to outdo the first, was an undertaking destined to fail. Or maybe it's a jinx of the even numbered Bond films. Whatever the case may be, Spectre, in my experience, is just another Bond film that I will probably not go out of my way to see a second time.

Overall Ranking: 5 out of 10 

Good. Average.

Nude-O-Meter: 0 out of 10

WRITTEN IN BLOOD: ROMAN CENTURIAN VS MONGOL RAIDER

THE PREFACE: It's been long overdue but Round 6 is finally here! Pitting the fabled Roman Centurions, who conquered a quarter of the world under the rule of the great Caesars, against the Mongolian Raiders, who conquered over half of the world under the leadership of the legendary Genghis Khan. Soldiers fighting for the glory of Rome. Nomads fighting for a greater destiny. Here’s what 96 of my fellow coworkers had to say: 

ROUND 6

ROMAN CENTURION VS MONGOL RAIDER

ROMAN CENTURION              MONGOL RAIDER            MICKEY MOUSE

31                                           64                            1

STORE MANAGER CHOICE: ROMAN CENTURION 

ADVANTAGE: MONGOL RAIDER

I’m not sure what happened here. Maybe it was a bad match up? Or maybe it was due time for a blow out. It seems for every one vote for the Romans I received two votes for the Mongols. This is by far the biggest spread we’ve had yet! Most everybody believes in the ferocity of the Mongols!

THE STORY

From the account of Daxus Meridias – Roman Centurion

April 3th

                The sixth night of festivities celebrating Rome’s victory of Germania. It has been nearly a month since the battle’s end and has taken several weeks but finally my men and I have returned to Rome. The city somehow seems more wonderful now than last I saw her. The citizens greet us as heroes of war. The Emperor showers us with royal food and wine and the finest courtesans in all the empire. I am ashamed to admit but for the last 72 hours I have been lost in a realm of senses. My great Caesar, how I missed Rome.

Even amidst endless pleasures the senators whisper and conspire about the next battlefield, the next conquest of the empire. Rumors have spread of a dark power in the East. Monsters. Demons from Hades itself. Bah. It is nothing but a story to frighten children and the feeble minded. I have fought against many enemies from distant lands as well as fellow neighboring Greeks. I have seen the very devil himself on the battlefield. But in the end they are just men.

                But a power is rising in the East nonetheless. My Emperor Cicero grows concerned. He has ordered a contingent of soldiers to confirm the rumors. To see if this power in the East is a threat to the Empire. Myself and 5 other centurions commanding 480 men have been dispatched. Fully armed and with light cavalry. A glorified scouting party. More than enough to slay a rabble of savages in masks wielding rocks and sticks. We deploy in the morning. I should be getting much needed rest yet I insist on keeping this foolish record. That and the heavenly woman by my side.

April 22^th

                The cohort (480 men) led by myself and fellow centurions have traveled north and far to the east above the African tribes. Our march has gone swiftly and without resistance. The villages and nations we pass have been welcoming and hospitable. We ask only for that which we need to survive. They have all been gracious enough to allow us to resupply.

I have asked each of the sovereign lords about the demons in the east. I wish to learn as much about my enemy as possible. At first they laughed insisting that my men and I were chasing ghosts. But the farther from home we traveled the stranger the answers to my inquiries became. At first they laughed. Now they don’t speak at all. Not a word or even a whisper. The farther east we travel the greater the fear in the locals eyes.

Still I asked them what they knew. Finally I managed to pry some words from a local farmer’s mouth: “Wolves wearing the skins of men.” I have never seen a man so scared.

April 29^th

                We have continued our march deeper into the east. We have not yet beheld the demons of the east, but we have seen the aftermath of what their kind has wrought. Villages burned. Crops decimated. Women and children ravaged. Their bodies lay face down in the dirt, charred earth surrounding them. The corpses of the men lay strewn about in pieces, feral dogs and other animals eating their fill.

                I have seen barbarism. I have beheld the deeds of evil men. None of that has prepared me for any of this. The looks on the faces of my men fill me with doubt. An undercurrent of dread makes its way through the troops. They look at us centurions just as the frightened villagers did. Looking at the smoldering ruins and bloody carnage around us it is impossible not to feel shaken.

I still don’t believe in monsters. But whatever did this to these people… was not human.

May 1^st

                This morning the men and I marched on a hillside spanning the horizon, the sun rising above the ridge. The air was cold and the wind bitter, stinging the skin. A darkness set deep within the men’s hearts. A whispered fear… Mongol.

                Something resembling a man stood on the hilltop. He stood alone, hooded and dressed in rags. A spear in one hand, a sword in the other. He paced back and forth along the ridge, not like a man does when he’s nervous. He paced the way a wolf does just before it moves in for the kill. There was only one of them, but what happened next gave my men pause.

                As we ascended the slope the wolf attacked. He ran down the hillside at an alarming speed. My soldiers knew not whether to form ranks or remain marching. How foolish it would sound back in Rome to hear of 480 men forming ranks against a single adversary. I shouted the order. The senators and Emperor can laugh all they want. I saw the fear in my men’s eyes from this one opponent. Whatever our enemy was, I would not underestimate him.

                The men fell quickly in line, shields together, spears by their sides. My men formed an impregnable wall, one which has withstood the onslaught of countless barbarian hordes. We marched in form up the side of the hill. But the enemy did not stop. He stabbed the tip of his spear in the ground beneath our shields and vaulted over our heads. He landed in the center of our ranks fighting with all the ferocity of a cornered animal.

                Shocked and confused, many of the men were taken by surprise. In moments four men lay face down on the ground, their blood soaking the earth. Our men moved in from all sides. The enemy never kept his attention in one area for long. For several minutes he mounted an impressive offense. Roman spears eventually pierced his flesh. And our swords cut the rabid beast to pieces.

                What was it trying to achieve with such a suicidal maneuver? My fellow centurions wondered this too. In the end a single enemy managed to fell ten men and wound seven others. Many laughed at the hopeless task our enemy had tried to achieve. Others waivered, spirits shaken, for if only one was able to inflict such damage, imagine what an army could do? While the rest of the men stared at the slain body my eyes looked to ridge. Three men on horseback watched us from above. It was then that I realized what this attack had been about. They were gauging our ability.

                I feared what the following days would bring…

May 2^nd

                The events of yesterday have left the men shaken. The weather has grown cold. Three men were attacked and killed by wolves while they slept. The animals howling prevented many from resting. In the morning we continued northeast into our enemy’s territory. We came yet upon another hillside. It was here that our enemy chose to attack us. While we climbed the slope the enemy created a rockslide. Smaller rocks loosened larger ones. The large rocks jarred free yet greater boulders, all cascading towards our troops.

                Centurion Maximus rallied the troops into formation. While the first line of men knelt down with their shield at the ground, the second line of men raised their shields above covering everything from foot to skull. The larger rocks crashed through our shields crushing and scattering the troops. 100 enemies on horseback followed the rocks down the hillside riding right through our ranks.

                They wielded swords, spears, maces, hammers, all manner of edged weaponry and heavy bludgeoning objects. Each one of these horsemen were as feral and beastly as the lone enemy from yesterday. Some were big. Some were smaller. Each fought with reckless abandon and savagery. The brutality with which they fought caused the men to break rank, likely out of fear. This enabled them to inflict terrible damage to our numbers. Centurion Criksus and Delios were felled by a beast fighting with two curved razor sharp swords. The loss of two centurions sent the men into a panic.

                Maximus and I rode in and rallied the men as best we could. Our horses collided with two of the enemies. All four of us were knocked to the ground. I could feel the pounding of the horses hooves centimeters from my head as I lay on the ground. Never have I felt so afraid. But my fear propelled me forward. Maximus and I fought side by side like we never have before. Together we felled twenty of these monsters.

By mid-morning the battle was done. We had survived, but the damage done was lethal. Our men numbered less than 200. Only three centurions remained to lead. Everyone was left wounded and shaken. I knew we would not survive another incursion such as this. And the men knew it too. I gave the order to turn back. We traveled well into the night, only now stopping to rest. If I could keep the men going I would, were that they had any strength left to give. I fear what the night will bring.

May 3^rd

                Wolves attacked us yet again in the night, claiming twenty-seven men, all too exhausted and wounded to defend themselves. The howling kept us all awake till morning. The night grew colder too. What rest we managed was little. It is this place. Since coming here I have felt it infect us, debilitate us.

                Once dawn approached we headed farther south. Our supplies are running low. Only now do I see the terrible trap we had marched head long into. The decimated villages. The burnt crops. Poisoned wells. We had been completely cut off from the essential resources we needed to survive. If these Mongols attacked us now we would be easy prey.

                Our only salvation lay further south beyond these lands. I pushed the men as hard as they could. Many grew sick as the day wore on. What water we found induced vomiting and foul discharge from both ends. It is hard to believe that only five days ago the men were healthy and strong. Now we are pale shells of our former selves.

May 4^th

                It was like waking to a nightmare. The Mongols attack us at night. Wolves attacked with them. All I could hear were the screams of my men and pounding hooves and the snarling of animals. Clouds covered the sky for not a single light shone in the night.

                Maximus and I decided it best if we flee, taking what men were able with us. As we ran we were picked off one by one by wolves and horsemen. I witnessed my friend Maximus’s head loped from his shoulders. He was standing right next to me. I truly believed I was next. As I ran I felt the cold breath of Hades on my neck. I did not look back. I ran as fast as my legs could carry me well into the dawn.

                Fifteen men and myself are all that remain. One soldier, a young man by the name of Marcus appears in remarkable health given everything he has been through. I know he could continue running if it were not for loyalty to the rest of us. I know I will not make it back to Rome. The Mongols will chase us to eternity to claim our lives. I will give this letter to Marcus and impress upon him the importance of it, that he reach Rome, and tell everyone of the horrors and monsters in the east. So that no Roman may suffer what we here have suffered.

                I have little left to give. These final words are all that I can give my Emperor. This is a godforsaken land filled with devils. The empire need not come here. For all it will find is death.

                                                                                                Daxus Meridias ~ Centurion of the Roman Empire

Check out the first five rounds of the "What If" World Warrior Battles!

Round 5: SPARTAN VS SAMURAI
Round 4: VALKYRIE VS AMAZON
Round 3: COWBOY VS PIRATE
Round 2: SHAOLIN MONK VS APACHE WARRIOR
Round 1: VIKING VS NINJA