KAIJUOLOGY: GAMERA

Subject: Gamera

Documentation: Giant Monster Gamera (1965), Gamera Vs Barugon (1966), Gamera Vs Gyaos (1967), Gamera Vs Viras (1968), Gamera Vs Guiron (1969), Gamera Vs Jiger (1970), Gamera vs Zigra (1971), Gamera, Super Monster (1980), Gamera: Guardian of the Universe (1995), Gamera 2: Attack of Legion (1996), Gamera 3: Revenge of Iris (1999), and Gamera The Brave (2006)

The Foes of Gamera

History: In 1965 when Cold War tensions were running high all over the world an incident occurred in the Arctic between the US military forces and a still as of yet unknown country. This unknown country was using the Arctic Circle as a flight path for transporting nuclear weapons. A skirmish erupted and one of the bombers was shot down resulting in nuclear detonation. The blast created a fissure in the ice releasing perhaps the greatest kaiju the world has ever witnessed: the gargantuan chelonian Gamera the invincible!

The US forces were decimated. The unknown foreign power fled. And Gamera took flight (yes, it can actually fly) across the ocean ultimately making landfall in Japan. There the creature exhibited a number of unique and incredible traits. The beast curiously targeted Japan's power plants and resources. It demonstrated an invulnerability to all military weaponry, a natural resistance to fire, the ability to breath fire either in the form of a jet of flame or full on fire balls, and the ability to fly! Like a turtle, Gamera is able to pull his limbs inside it's impervious shell. Jets of flame rocket out of the arm and leg holes in the shell sending the creature into a spin propelling it through the air at incredible and dangerous speeds.

Anatomy of a Kaiju

Gamera's initial attack proved catastrophic. Nothing could stop the beast. It was soon discovered that the creature consumed fire. The scientists and military strategists of the world devised a plan. If the monster could not be killed than it needed to be removed by any means possible. Gamera was lured to a Japanese air field by way of a trail of fire where it was encapsulated within the head of a humongous rocket. Before the kaiju could escape, the rocket was launched into space. The threat appeared to be over... for the moment.

Gamera destroyed the rocket and returned to Earth. But this time it was met by more than the Japanese military. A new kaiju named Barugon had appeared in Japan, a kaiju capable of spewing forth a substance similar to liquid nitrogen. It was here where mankind learned of Gamera's true purpose. The beast was created to defend the Earth from other malevolent kaiju.

Gamera in Flight

Renown Japanese scientist Dr. Hidaka along with others researched the site where Gamera emerged. They discovered several artifacts and investigated many of the legends surrounding the area, stories passed down through local tribes of Eskimos. The stories and evidence all referred to Atlantis, an advanced civilization from thousands of years ago. According to what Dr. Hidaka and the others could piece together, long ago the Atlanteans created a number of artificial organisms. These creatures came in various shapes and sizes. They were all originally designed to benefit humanity.

But something went wrong. These creatures turned on their creators. In no time these giant monsters became an extinction level threat to humanity. In order to defend themselves from the monsters they themselves created they genetically engineered one last creature: GAMERA. Built for the sole purpose to defend humanity and slay any monster who would threaten us. Our own guardian of the universe. Through a series of trials and errors the Atlanteans created hundreds of Gameras before perfecting the final version. As they finished the ultimate Gamera their civilization was wiped out.

When Gamera attacked Japan he wasn't trying to destroy us. He had been dormant for several thousand years. He was replenishing his strength for the upcoming battles with Barugon, Gyaos, Viras, and many other enemies from long ago. We misunderstood his initial attack. Since then he has proven himself countless times to be our absolute guardian of the universe.

Gamera Vs Barugon & Gyaos

Review: Gamera is the shit. Godzilla only has one rival kaiju to the title: King of the Monsters. And that's the Guardian of the Universe: GAMERA! He has a total of 11 movies and has managed to have a film released in every decade since the 1960's. His first movie he was depicted as a villian, but in every film after he has been a protector of mankind.

There are 8 films in the original series (the Showa series). In my opinion the first two films in the series are the best of the originals. Both films are taken very seriously and are more straight forward monster films, grim and violent. Gamera Vs Barugon (the second film and my personal favorite of the Showa series) is very violent and one of the bloodiest kaiju films of the 60's. From this point Gamera becomes a children's hero. The films have a surprising amount of graphic violence and blood still but the effects budgets are clearly cut and the monster suits are less convincing.

Mystery Science Theater 3000 has taken a stab at the original Gamera series if that tells you anything. They have an entire collection, 5 films, of Gamera. The original series suffered from some pretty bad effects and terrible US dubbing earning many of them the honor of being MST3Ked. I have to admit that even the worst Godzilla movie from this era is better than the majority of the Showa Gamera series.

Nightmare Gamera

In all honesty I didn't really become a Gamera fan until I watched GAMERA 2: ATTACK OF LEGION. A good friend and fellow kaiju aficionado and I sat down to watch G2 for the first time and were both blown away! The Gamera Trilogy of the 1990's are perhaps  three of the finest examples of the kaiju genre, Godzilla and non-Godzilla alike. There's a strong argument for the Gamera Trilogy being better than even the best Godzilla films. It is incredible how good these three films are. They inspired me to take another look at the Gamera series as a whole. No question it is because of these films that I am a Gamera fan at all.

I love Gamera. The original films have their moments and fine points and a fair share of flaws. The 1990's trilogy is damn near perfect. GAMERA 3 may be the best kaiju film of all time. But regardless of when you came to know Gamera, the monster is one of the best kaiju in existence. He may have been a joke back in the late 60's and 70's but he was still a feature film rival. But his films of the 1990's and even the 2006 film GAMERA THE BRAVE boosted him up to an A-List kaiju alongside Godzilla and Mothra. The only thing better would be to see Gamera throw down with the King himself (and I'm not talking Elvis). A dream come true would be a Godzilla Vs Gamera film directed by Shusuke  Kaneko. The ultimate kaiju epic!

Threat Level: 9 out of 10

WRITTEN IN BLOOD: SPARTAN VS SAMURAI

Preface: Hold onto your butts! Round 5 of the Warrior Tournament is here! I've held this one back until now because I knew it would be a good one. The ace in the hole, the world renown Samurai of Japan and the ever popular Spartans from Greece. I asked all of my coworkers, including several new hires for the spring season, and here's what they had to say:

ROUND 5

SPARTAN VS SAMURAI

SPARTAN                   SAMURAI                  YOU SHOULD THINK ABOUT IN-PATIENT CARE

           54                                    44                                                           1                                                                                                           

STORE MANAGER CHOICE: SPARTAN

ADVANTAGE: SPARTAN

The Spartans blew out the Samurai by ten votes! So much for this one being really good. I honestly expected this one to be much closer than it turned out. To my chagrin the Spartans trounced the Samurai. The movie 300 had quite a bit to do with it. To my surprise not as many of my coworkers were as familiar with the Samurai as the Spartan.

What does this say about our psychology? The arguments for the Spartans were that in a group the Spartans would be unbeatable. The phalanx tactic many deemed invincible not to mention the shear strength and herculean physicality of the Spartans being a huge factor in their favor. Their massive shields and spears gave them ultimate protection and distance. Most agreed that one on one though that the Samurai might have the advantage.

The arguments for the Samurai were that they could fight just as well on horseback as well as on foot. They were experts with a bow and arrow and carried two swords, one shorter for close range and one full length katana. The katana sword itself was a huge advantage being one of the most renown swords the world over. Also the Samurai wore plenty of armor, light and durable compared to the almost naked Spartans save their helmets. And then there is the fact that the Spartans did die out.

Then there's the sex appeal of the Spartans. This is the first round where my female coworkers were staggeringly in favor of the chiseled and hunky Spartans. I should have seen it coming. The Spartans received a whole ten votes more by the ladies than the Samurai. Hell, even some of my male coworkers were so gung ho about the machismo testosterone filled Spartans, smitten with a man-crush on those badasses.

If you've followed my blog then you should know what side I fall on. I'm a diehard Samurai guy all the way. I figured the popularity of the Spartans would make for good sport for the Samurai, but I didn't expect it to go the other way. I guess not as many people around here watched the LAST SAMURAI or 47 RONIN. Oh well. At least my Ninja won against the Vikings. I'll always have that.

Below is a fictional story about such an encounter based entirely on the votes of my associates and the outcome of the survey. Enjoy!

THE STORY

My family doesn’t believe me. They accuse me of lying, of weaving some fantastic epic during my long uneventful days as a Sheppard. It is fantastic. It is unbelievable. But it did happen. I am now many years older and I fear nearing my life’s end. I am transcribing this story so that someone one day may believe me and remember this incredible tale. My life has been a peaceful existence. I do not wish to sow seeds of discord and spin amazing yarns for my own benefit. I have no need to. But what I am about to tell was the greatest sight my eyes have ever beheld.

Much my youth was spent alone out in the meadows, the prairies, and grasslands tending my flock. This particular day I counted one of my flock missing. I journey far in pursuit of my lost lamb. I found her at the edge of a ravine overlooking an open valley below. In the valley were two armies. I know not how they arrived by this place nor why. One army was composed of at least thirty men wielding spears, great shields, and swords on their hips. They wore no armor save golden helmets. Their bodies appeared nigh godlike. Spartans I later learned they were called, from Greece.

The other army couldn’t have appeared more strange by comparison. Twenty soldiers riding on horseback, clad from head to toe in a frightening bamboo armor. They wielded two swords, thin and slightly curved, one shorter than the other. Bows and quivers filled with arrows along their backs. The Samurai, the only word I could discern from their strange language. I must have  arrived at the onset of battle for there were no corpses seeding the valley yet. By day’s end the green grass would be awash with red.

The Samurai rode in with bows and arrows. They remained perfectly still while their horses were in a full gallop. Their arrows flew. The Spartans banded together and held their shields high forming a giant carapace. They laughed as the arrows bounced off their broad shields. A Samurai galloped close. The carapace opened up with four thrusting spears. The horse was skewered and the Samurai was knocked to the ground. A Spartan leapt off the shield of another and plunged his spear into the Samurai’s chest.

This phalanx strategy of the Greeks proved invincible but the Samurai were not so careless. After the loss of three men they kept their distance. I counted only ten samurai left and the Spartans had yet to lose a single man. But there were only three Samurai lying dead on the field. Where had the other seven gone?

I felt the ground beneath me rumble and shake. Then in the distance I heard what sounded like thunder growing rapidly closer. Then I saw it! A herd of cattle, hundreds, came stampeding through the valley from around the bend. The Seven Samurai missing from before rode behind them. The other Samurai surrounded the phalanx locking them down in the center of the valley. There was nothing the Greeks could do except break formation and run straight into the swords of the Samurai. The Spartans held fast while their enemies moved to the outskirts of the valley. The animals crashed through the Spartan shields scattering the thirty men across the land.

The armored warriors rode back in cutting down the Greeks with their swords. Heads separated from shoulders. Limbs lay severed on the ground, trampled under horse and cattle hooves. When the rampaging herd finally passed, the Spartans quickly regrouped. They banded into multiple two or three men groups, each man protecting the other. They cut off the legs of the horses and brought their enemy lo. With sword and spear the ripped their attackers apart.

Only one Samurai remained. He was large and wore a demonic looking armor the shade of blood. He stood before fifteen Spartans unafraid and undaunted. He unsheathed a long narrow blade from his belt. Why he held such a thin blade with two hands was beyond me. The Spartans laughed and mocked the lone warrior. But even as four impressive looking Greeks approached him, the Samurai did not falter.

One Spartan dropped his shield and spear and ran forward roaring, sword gripped tight in his hand. The Spartan slashed with his sword. His blade veered off his enemy’s armor without nary a scratch. He slashed again and again all ending with similar results. The Samurai made no attempt to defend himself. He merely allowed the Spartan the opportunity to try. The Spartan thrust his sword for his enemy’s head. The Samurai knocked his sword away with his arm and slashed with his narrow sword. The Spartan slid apart diagonally from shoulder to hip.

The vast difference between their blade could not have been more shocking. The Samurai whipped his sword down by his side, flinging the blood from the blade, and assumed his stance once again. The other three advancing Spartans charged forward. If I had not seen it I would never have believed it. The Samurai’s sword moved with lightning speed. Blurs and flashes of silver were all I could see. The Greeks fell to the ground, their bodies in more pieces than I could count. The eleven remaining Spartans were not laughing anymore.

Suddenly the Samurai charged forward into the center of their ranks. They tried to band together as they did before. The Samurai sliced them apart when they tried. He cut down six of them before they could mount a defensive, arterial spurts of blood and red mist shooting through the air. He fought with fury of a demon. The remaining Greeks surrounded him. Each of them thrust their spears. The spears formed a grid around him, locking his arms down, rendering him immobile. The Samurai was at their mercy. The Spartan commander stepped close. He cut off his enemy’s armor one piece at a time and removed his helmet.

Underneath that fierce crimson armor was a man with long black hair pulled back in a ponytail, clad in white robes. The Spartans backed up giving the Samurai room to move. The Spartan commander stepped forward once again, his massive shield in one hand and his sword in the other. The other Spartans stood back. The two warriors stared at one another. The Samurai drew his sword and assumed his stance.

He dashed forward faster than before! Removing his armor didn’t make him vulnerable. It made him deadlier. His sword slashes were again faster than I could see. The sparks erupting from the Spartan’s shield were all I could see. I doubt the Spartan could see them either for if not for the shield I believe the Greek would be dead. But as the shield saved his life, its heavy weight slowed him down. He could not mount an offensive. He tried to attack with his sword but the power of the Samurai knocked his sword from his hands.

And then it was over. I had to replay the events from memory over and over to piece together what had happened for my mind did not immediately comprehend. The Spartan dropped his shield, now completely unarmed. The Samurai thrust forward, his sword driving straight through the Greek’s belly. The Spartan gripped the hilt and held the sword in place. With his free hand he pulled the short sword off the Samurai’s belt and plunged it deep into his enemy’s gut. He dragged the blade down spilling his enemy’s insides all over the ground. The Samurai collapsed to the valley floor.

The Spartan commander removed the sword from his body, as if it were merely a splinter, and planted the blade in his enemy’s skull. They bandaged their wounds and buried their fallen comrades. I couldn’t stay and watch any longer for I needed to return to my flock. I do not know what happen to the remaining five Spartans. But never again have I seen warriors the likes of these, with such power and unparalleled skill. I can’t help but wonder, if the Samurai had slashed with his sword instead of thrusting the Spartan would be the one dead on the ground.

BLOODY GOOD TELEVISION: NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES ~ DAREDEVIL

So yesterday Netflix unveiled their latest original series: Marvel's DAREDEVIL. All 13 Episodes. And I spent the whole day watching. I watched all 13 episodes in one day. You can look at this two ways, One: That I wasted an entire day of my life to television. And Two: The show was that good that I had to watch all 13 episodes in one day. Both are right.

As a reinvention of Daredevil, series creator Drew Goddard pulls out all the stops. This show is not for kids. It is dark. It is bloody. It is violent. It is head crushingly violent. This is Daredevil if it were done realistically and the stupid studios didn't get involved and mess up the creator's vision. This is how I would want Daredevil to be. It is a hard R rating. People have been commenting on how dark the show GOTHAM is, but Gotham looks like a kid's program compared to Daredevil.

The show begins during Daredevil's first year of being a vigilante. They intersperse scenes of the origin story between current scenes of ass kicking. Daredevil isn't the Daredevil we know yet. He is new to the vigilante thing and still learning. He doesn't have his iconic red costume nor the moniker nor his tonfa sticks or billy club. He hasn't even chosen whether or not to kill his enemies or let them live. He is simply known as the MASK. As the show progresses he grows closer and closer to becoming the hero we are all familiar with.

I will try to keep the SPOILERS to a minimum but still... tread carefully. Charlie Cox is a fantastic Matt Murdock. Honestly, his approach reminds me of the TV film THE TRIAL OF THE INCREDIBLE HULK. In that film Daredevil (the character's first live action portrayal) is played by actor Rex Smith and is dressed all in black. That portrayal of DD was very effective and quite good. The Netflix series wisely takes a page from that film and treats DD with the same gritty realism. You can tell they are trying to distance themselves from the 2003 film which isn't a bad thing. Charlie Cox and Ben Affleck's approaches are quite different.

Wilson Fisk is portrayed by Vincent D'Onofrio and is probably the best portrayal of the character I've ever seen outside of something animated. First D'Onofrio played Thor in my childhood favorite film ADVENTURES IN BABYSITTING. Now he's playing KINGPIN and he is magnificent. He looks exactly like the comic book character (minus a bit of girth) and is brutal and sadistic. He is completely insane and delusional and driven. It reminds me of Kingpin's characterization from Jason Aaron's PUNISHER MAX comic series (the scariest Kingpin I have ever seen!). Every choice in portraying Kingpin in this series is carefully thought out and perfectly executed. His character alone kept me watching. I have to give respect to Michael Clarke Duncan and John Rhys-Davies for their great performances as the Kingpin of crime. D'Onofrio draws a little from both as well creating something his own.

SPOILER ALERT. Melvin Potter (Gladiator), Claire Temple (played by Rosario Dawson), Karen Page (played by Deborah Ann Woll), Foggy Nelson (played by Elden Henson), Stick (played by Scott Glenn), Ben Urich, Leland Owlsley (The Owl), a ninja from the HAND, and more characters round out the supporting cast. Claire Temple is a direct nod to Heroes For Hire and Luke Cage. Near the end there is a huge reference to Iron Fist's main enemy Steel Serpent as well as a hint of K'un Lun kung fu. Carl "the Crusher" Creel a.k.a. the Absorbing Man is referenced as well as a subtle hint of Elektra and Bullseye.

The only complaint I have about the series is when he finally gets his signature red costume, the costume sucks. If there was one thing I liked about the 2003 movie it was the costume. They should have taken that page from Ben Affleck's Daredevil. This new costume looks terrible. Going back to the plus side this series takes place in the same universe as AGENTS OF SHIELD and the Marvel Cinematic Universe. So there's potential for more awesome crossovers!

The series has a nice wrap up if it bombs while subtly laying the ground work for other ideas and future shows and plots if it is a success. I liked it. I liked it quite a bit. I hope the show is a success and I hope they make more seasons and more shows (like they're planning). You all should take a look. It's worth it.

 First Season Overall Ranking: 7 out of 10
Nude-O-Meter: 0 out of 10