WRITTEN IN BLOOD: SPARTAN VS SAMURAI

Preface: Hold onto your butts! Round 5 of the Warrior Tournament is here! I've held this one back until now because I knew it would be a good one. The ace in the hole, the world renown Samurai of Japan and the ever popular Spartans from Greece. I asked all of my coworkers, including several new hires for the spring season, and here's what they had to say:

ROUND 5

SPARTAN VS SAMURAI

SPARTAN                   SAMURAI                  YOU SHOULD THINK ABOUT IN-PATIENT CARE

           54                                    44                                                           1                                                                                                           

STORE MANAGER CHOICE: SPARTAN

ADVANTAGE: SPARTAN

The Spartans blew out the Samurai by ten votes! So much for this one being really good. I honestly expected this one to be much closer than it turned out. To my chagrin the Spartans trounced the Samurai. The movie 300 had quite a bit to do with it. To my surprise not as many of my coworkers were as familiar with the Samurai as the Spartan.

What does this say about our psychology? The arguments for the Spartans were that in a group the Spartans would be unbeatable. The phalanx tactic many deemed invincible not to mention the shear strength and herculean physicality of the Spartans being a huge factor in their favor. Their massive shields and spears gave them ultimate protection and distance. Most agreed that one on one though that the Samurai might have the advantage.

The arguments for the Samurai were that they could fight just as well on horseback as well as on foot. They were experts with a bow and arrow and carried two swords, one shorter for close range and one full length katana. The katana sword itself was a huge advantage being one of the most renown swords the world over. Also the Samurai wore plenty of armor, light and durable compared to the almost naked Spartans save their helmets. And then there is the fact that the Spartans did die out.

Then there's the sex appeal of the Spartans. This is the first round where my female coworkers were staggeringly in favor of the chiseled and hunky Spartans. I should have seen it coming. The Spartans received a whole ten votes more by the ladies than the Samurai. Hell, even some of my male coworkers were so gung ho about the machismo testosterone filled Spartans, smitten with a man-crush on those badasses.

If you've followed my blog then you should know what side I fall on. I'm a diehard Samurai guy all the way. I figured the popularity of the Spartans would make for good sport for the Samurai, but I didn't expect it to go the other way. I guess not as many people around here watched the LAST SAMURAI or 47 RONIN. Oh well. At least my Ninja won against the Vikings. I'll always have that.

Below is a fictional story about such an encounter based entirely on the votes of my associates and the outcome of the survey. Enjoy!

THE STORY

My family doesn’t believe me. They accuse me of lying, of weaving some fantastic epic during my long uneventful days as a Sheppard. It is fantastic. It is unbelievable. But it did happen. I am now many years older and I fear nearing my life’s end. I am transcribing this story so that someone one day may believe me and remember this incredible tale. My life has been a peaceful existence. I do not wish to sow seeds of discord and spin amazing yarns for my own benefit. I have no need to. But what I am about to tell was the greatest sight my eyes have ever beheld.

Much my youth was spent alone out in the meadows, the prairies, and grasslands tending my flock. This particular day I counted one of my flock missing. I journey far in pursuit of my lost lamb. I found her at the edge of a ravine overlooking an open valley below. In the valley were two armies. I know not how they arrived by this place nor why. One army was composed of at least thirty men wielding spears, great shields, and swords on their hips. They wore no armor save golden helmets. Their bodies appeared nigh godlike. Spartans I later learned they were called, from Greece.

The other army couldn’t have appeared more strange by comparison. Twenty soldiers riding on horseback, clad from head to toe in a frightening bamboo armor. They wielded two swords, thin and slightly curved, one shorter than the other. Bows and quivers filled with arrows along their backs. The Samurai, the only word I could discern from their strange language. I must have  arrived at the onset of battle for there were no corpses seeding the valley yet. By day’s end the green grass would be awash with red.

The Samurai rode in with bows and arrows. They remained perfectly still while their horses were in a full gallop. Their arrows flew. The Spartans banded together and held their shields high forming a giant carapace. They laughed as the arrows bounced off their broad shields. A Samurai galloped close. The carapace opened up with four thrusting spears. The horse was skewered and the Samurai was knocked to the ground. A Spartan leapt off the shield of another and plunged his spear into the Samurai’s chest.

This phalanx strategy of the Greeks proved invincible but the Samurai were not so careless. After the loss of three men they kept their distance. I counted only ten samurai left and the Spartans had yet to lose a single man. But there were only three Samurai lying dead on the field. Where had the other seven gone?

I felt the ground beneath me rumble and shake. Then in the distance I heard what sounded like thunder growing rapidly closer. Then I saw it! A herd of cattle, hundreds, came stampeding through the valley from around the bend. The Seven Samurai missing from before rode behind them. The other Samurai surrounded the phalanx locking them down in the center of the valley. There was nothing the Greeks could do except break formation and run straight into the swords of the Samurai. The Spartans held fast while their enemies moved to the outskirts of the valley. The animals crashed through the Spartan shields scattering the thirty men across the land.

The armored warriors rode back in cutting down the Greeks with their swords. Heads separated from shoulders. Limbs lay severed on the ground, trampled under horse and cattle hooves. When the rampaging herd finally passed, the Spartans quickly regrouped. They banded into multiple two or three men groups, each man protecting the other. They cut off the legs of the horses and brought their enemy lo. With sword and spear the ripped their attackers apart.

Only one Samurai remained. He was large and wore a demonic looking armor the shade of blood. He stood before fifteen Spartans unafraid and undaunted. He unsheathed a long narrow blade from his belt. Why he held such a thin blade with two hands was beyond me. The Spartans laughed and mocked the lone warrior. But even as four impressive looking Greeks approached him, the Samurai did not falter.

One Spartan dropped his shield and spear and ran forward roaring, sword gripped tight in his hand. The Spartan slashed with his sword. His blade veered off his enemy’s armor without nary a scratch. He slashed again and again all ending with similar results. The Samurai made no attempt to defend himself. He merely allowed the Spartan the opportunity to try. The Spartan thrust his sword for his enemy’s head. The Samurai knocked his sword away with his arm and slashed with his narrow sword. The Spartan slid apart diagonally from shoulder to hip.

The vast difference between their blade could not have been more shocking. The Samurai whipped his sword down by his side, flinging the blood from the blade, and assumed his stance once again. The other three advancing Spartans charged forward. If I had not seen it I would never have believed it. The Samurai’s sword moved with lightning speed. Blurs and flashes of silver were all I could see. The Greeks fell to the ground, their bodies in more pieces than I could count. The eleven remaining Spartans were not laughing anymore.

Suddenly the Samurai charged forward into the center of their ranks. They tried to band together as they did before. The Samurai sliced them apart when they tried. He cut down six of them before they could mount a defensive, arterial spurts of blood and red mist shooting through the air. He fought with fury of a demon. The remaining Greeks surrounded him. Each of them thrust their spears. The spears formed a grid around him, locking his arms down, rendering him immobile. The Samurai was at their mercy. The Spartan commander stepped close. He cut off his enemy’s armor one piece at a time and removed his helmet.

Underneath that fierce crimson armor was a man with long black hair pulled back in a ponytail, clad in white robes. The Spartans backed up giving the Samurai room to move. The Spartan commander stepped forward once again, his massive shield in one hand and his sword in the other. The other Spartans stood back. The two warriors stared at one another. The Samurai drew his sword and assumed his stance.

He dashed forward faster than before! Removing his armor didn’t make him vulnerable. It made him deadlier. His sword slashes were again faster than I could see. The sparks erupting from the Spartan’s shield were all I could see. I doubt the Spartan could see them either for if not for the shield I believe the Greek would be dead. But as the shield saved his life, its heavy weight slowed him down. He could not mount an offensive. He tried to attack with his sword but the power of the Samurai knocked his sword from his hands.

And then it was over. I had to replay the events from memory over and over to piece together what had happened for my mind did not immediately comprehend. The Spartan dropped his shield, now completely unarmed. The Samurai thrust forward, his sword driving straight through the Greek’s belly. The Spartan gripped the hilt and held the sword in place. With his free hand he pulled the short sword off the Samurai’s belt and plunged it deep into his enemy’s gut. He dragged the blade down spilling his enemy’s insides all over the ground. The Samurai collapsed to the valley floor.

The Spartan commander removed the sword from his body, as if it were merely a splinter, and planted the blade in his enemy’s skull. They bandaged their wounds and buried their fallen comrades. I couldn’t stay and watch any longer for I needed to return to my flock. I do not know what happen to the remaining five Spartans. But never again have I seen warriors the likes of these, with such power and unparalleled skill. I can’t help but wonder, if the Samurai had slashed with his sword instead of thrusting the Spartan would be the one dead on the ground.