WRITTEN IN BLOOD: VIKING VS NINJA

The Preface: So it's 6:00 am and I'm tired and bored at work. I'm going through the daily routine and suddenly a thought occurs to me: How cool would it be to see a Viking fight a Ninja? I wonder who would win? So, just in passing, I ask one of my coworkers what they think. They say, "The Viking would definitely win. They're way stronger and meaner." Another coworker overhears this and steps in saying, "No way! The Ninja would kill the Viking before the Viking even knew he was there!"

I asked another associate who they think would win in a fight between a Viking and a Ninja. Then I asked another. And another. I started taking a tally and keeping track of which warrior received how many votes. By the end of the week I asked almost every coworker, nearly 90 people. Before we continue let me just say that: yes I am aware of the tv show Deadliest Warrior. But know this, I have always asked these kinds of questions even before that show. Here are the results of my little impromptu survey:

VIKING VERSUS NINJA

Viking                                                                  Ninja                                                          Undecided
   36                                                                        46                                                                    1

What the hell is the matter with you, NinjaMitche?

1

ADVANTAGE: NINJA

Most of my coworkers felt, purely on gut instinct, that the Ninja would take down the Viking. Their reasonings were typically that the Ninja is far more stealthier and had access to a larger array of weapons. The Ninja is the master of the 1000 Ways of Death. Many mentioned how the Ninjas would be smarter, taking out the Vikings as quickly and efficiently as possible.

Those voting for the Vikings felt that the Ninja wouldn't stand a chance against the Vikings strength and berserker rage! Many felt that the Vikings had more history and more experience than the Ninja, raping, pillaging, and killing. They were bigger, stronger, and physically superior in every way to the pajama wearing little Ninjas.

What does this say about the voter's psychology?  Ninjas and Vikings are fairly prevalent in pop culture today. The Television show Vikings along with Marvel's Thor films have kept Viking life and mythology fresh in our minds (regardless of how fantastic and inaccurate the depiction). Likewise there are several Ninja shows, Naruto, Basilisk, and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles to keep these assassins on our minds as well.

It was interesting to look at the people casting their votes and explaining why. I think it's a fair assumption to say some of the people voting for Vikings reflected these qualities. Thinking that seemed to say if you are physically stronger you can accomplish much. Whereas with those who voted for the Ninjas believed that using your mind you could defeat any opponent. Whether this is true or not of my coworkers inner feelings and psychology, I cannot say. But it was an interesting perspective to look at them through.

FYI in case it wasn't obvious, I voted for Ninja. And you better believe that I'm writing this is full ninja garb while listening to the Shinobi soundtrack.

THE BATTLE: Being the person that I am I found myself wanting to see this battle play out before my eyes. As far as I know this match up hasn't been done before. So, exercising a little creativity, I decided to write out my fictional battle between the Vikings of legend and the Ninjas of myth based on the results of my coworkers and this survey. The following is my idea of how the fight would go:

THE STORY

In the year 999 A.D. Leif Erikson left Greenland and set sail for Norway. A terrible storm blew his ship way off course. Another ship was sent after him, a ship full of the fiercest vikings the Norsemen have ever known. Their ship too encountered a powerful storm at sea, a storm so great in fact the men aboard believed it to be the fury of Odin himself. The storm took control of their ship and did not let up for many months.

While Erikson landed in the Herbrides the other ship was blown far southeast. Lost at sea for months on end, the viking warriors arrived in a strange land populated with a race of people the likes of which they had never seen. The vikings came ashore during a battle between villages. They themselves were attacked by mistake. The vikings defended themselves and more. They pillaged the villages and defeated both militias. During the battle the vikings entered a blood-rage state of mind, going berserk, and set out to conquer this vile land for Odin!

Their carnage spread to peaceful neighboring villages and many innocents were slaughtered. One night, while the vikings slept, a small group of warriors clad in black made their way into the camp. The berserkers awoke to the sounds of their fellow warriors screaming. A battle erupted and the small band of ninja were killed but not without taking several vikings with them. The vikings sought out their would-be assassins, tracking them to a small seemingly quiet village. The vikings came in destroying everything in their path. But they found no sign of the ninja. 

Suddenly above them on the rooftops the ninja appeared surrounding the viking horde. A rain of arrows fell down upon the men of the north. The vikings suffered heavy casualties, only a small contingent escaping. They fled into the forest directly into another ambush. The ninja appeared out of the shadows, coming at them with shurikens, spears, swords, and more. The vikings held their swords and shields high and decimated the small band of ninja. The little men in pajamas were no match for the strength and ferocity of the blonde giants.

With their numbers down to only a few, the surviving vikings returned to their ship. Once aboard they prepared to set sail. One viking noticed something strange about the water, a black substance floating all around the ship, smelling of oil. He looked ashore seeing a lone ninja standing on the beach, a candle in hand. The ninja dropped the candle in the water and the sea around them burst into flames. The fire climbed the sides of the ship. The leader of the vikings looked about frantically for a means of survival. When he called upon his men for assistance no one answered. He walked out onto the deck seeing the bodies of fellow vikings, all slain. Standing before him was a single ninja holding a bloody sword.

They both held up their weapons and charged toward one another. The ninja was no match for the viking's berserker strength and ferocity. Instead she used his bulk and heavy weight against him. She out quicked him. She stabbed him hundreds of times but he refused to go down. What he couldn't hit with his sword he kicked and punched knocking her across the wooden deck of the ship. They both fought with everything they had as the boat burned down around them. All her determination, all her willpower, all the strength within her nimble body, she left none of it unused. His blood and the blood of his brothers soaked the deck of the ship. Both only had strength left for one last attack. He charged at her roaring in defiance. She dashed at him silently pouring everything she had left into this final attack. 

The berserker fell face down on the deck, wounds gushing forth the last bit of life left within him. He died knowing he had given his all, a death worthy of entering the great halls of Valhalla. He was greeted by Thor and Balder and host of other gods and lusty wenches. Awaiting him at a grand banquet were his fellow vikings. 

The ninja cut a hole in the bottom of the ship, swam beneath the flames, and back to shore. She returned to the hidden village of her clan a hero and became the clan leader. She and her warriors succeeded in defending Japan from the giants of the north and would continue to protect Japan from the shadows.

What do you think? Who would you bet on in a battle between a Viking and a Ninja? Feel free to cast your vote in the comments below!