BLOOD WORK: HALLOWEEN HORROR DAYS ~ DAY 14: PIRANHA 3D (2010)

There are horror movies and then there's PIRANHA 3D. Exsanguinated from the same vein as the classic films RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD, NIGHT OF THE CREEPS, and modern classics like FEAST and ZOMBIELAND, Piranha 3D is a film of pure enjoyment. It's a film aware of itself and how ludicrous the premise is and fully embraces it! Horror comedies don't often succeed because people who enjoy comedies generally don't enjoy horror films and people who like horror don't look for laughs in scary movies. Too much of one and not enough of the other runs the risk of alienating your audience.

If you think a movie titled Piranha 3D sounds stupid you're probably right. But sometimes that's just what you need. This movie gives you an abundance of sights and sounds to enjoy. It's like Jaws with a sense of humor. Girls Gone Wild with a touch of Critters (yes, those little furry alien monsters ;). When animals attack and college co-eds get freaky! Why on earth would you not want to see such a movie? It's exactly this type of movie that reminds us just how fun it can be to go to the movies.

The original poster for the 1978 film Piranha

If you didn't already know this movie is another in the long list of horror movie remakes that have been so popular this century. The great director Joe Dante gave us the original film. There's no mistaking this 1978 film as a piece of schlock but it is so much fun and a real piece of grindhouse cinematic joy, a true Roger Corman classic. Now, of all the horror films out there why on earth would you remake Piranha? Read on to find out why this is one of the best horror film remakes yet!

THE PLOT

Eli Roth spraying down the hotties of spring break

A small earthquake cracks open a fissure beneath Lake Victoria, a massive hot spot for spring breakers. This fissure opens up into an underwater lake that had been sealed off for millennia. Living in this lake beneath a lake are a school of long thought extinct prehistoric piranha. The next day the lake fills up with college kids for spring break. What drunk and dancing college student listens when someone yells shark let alone piranha? The lake runs read with beer and blood.

THE GOOD

Yep. That's it. Simple a plot as can be and that's just the way it should be. Anymore would be unnecessary. What the movie does it does in excess. It's take many of the 80's cliches of horror films and gives you more than you can handle. There's an abundance of nubile youths taking all sorts of drugs and alcohol and in true horror style all of them die in gruesome bloody ways. That brings up another notable feature of this movie, the gore. There is a ton of gore in this movie, brutal and in your face (tearing your face off in one instance). It doesn't hold back.

Then there's the nudity. I said there was a ton of gore, right? Well there is almost an equal amount of skin. Like I said, this movie doesn't hold back. And it's enjoyable nudity too at that, if you like women that is. So you probably don't want to watch this with your wife, girlfriend, or mother unless they have a good sense of humor. It only adds to the feast of the senses and shear joy that this movie strives for.

Lastly there are the actors. Familiar faces as well as new grace the screen. Elizabeth Shue, Jerry O'Connell, and Ving Rhames with cameos by Christopher Lloyd, Richard Dreyfuss, and Eli Roth. Lloyd and Dreyfuss are laugh out loud hilarious and Eli Roth is great too. All the actors do a fine job and that's what makes the movie even better. They're good actors having fun themselves. And so is the director. Alexandre Aja, the director that gave us HIGH TENSION, THE HILLS HAVE EYES remake, and most recently HORNS, is the man responsible here. No other person (except maybe Eli Roth) could have balanced the movie so well and made it so enjoyable.

THE BAD

There is nothing bad about this movie. It's one of those movies that is either completely bad or completely good depending on whose watching. That's just the kind of movie it is. To those who don't understand this style of movie they maybe consider it garbage. But even they have to admit to themselves if not to anyone else some level enjoyment. This film, for what it is, was made perfectly.

THE VERDICT

Some might consider it lowbrow shameless entertainment and they'd be right. But it is the finest example of such entertainment, just like Hot Tub Time Machine is to the comedy genre. To put it simply and accurately Piranha 3D is pure fun from beginning to end. It's a film of excess, like the constant thrill of a roller-coaster ride. You'll laugh, you'll cringe, and you'll scream. And won't be able to wipe the smile off your face.

Overall Ranking: 8 out of 10

Nude-O-Meter: 8 out of 10