The fifth Ninja Turtles movie is quite a departure from its roots. Directed by Jonathan Liebesman and produced by Michael Bay, the goal seemed to be a big budget all out relaunch of the franchise. Where the first four films all tied together this one started anew. I don't mind that so much. But it did mean that I would be strongly comparing it to the first film, a movie I've loved dearly from my childhood, and to the last installment, TMNT, my personal favorite of the series. What I would discover over the next 101 minutes is that this film isn't about "my" turtles but about someone else's.
SPOILERS AHEAD!!! The turtles and Splinter were created in a lab as test subjects for a bio-organic serum with mutagenic host properties. There's a TGRI bottle in one quick shot which was a nice throwback. April's dad is one of the scientists and she names the turtles. April's dad is killed in a fire in the lab. She saves Splinter and the turtles by taking them outside to a drainpipe. The movie cements the relationship between the turtles and April far deeper than its ever been. Shredder and the Foot Clan are gun-toting mercenaries. The Foot Clan are basically terrorists, not ninjas in any way. Shredder is a magnetic robot samurai who throws knives and pulls them back via his magnets. He's simply a megalomaniac. The man with the bad plan is April's father's scientist colleague. The plan is to unleash a bio-terrorist attack over New York City unleashing a horrible genetically engineered plague and then selling the world the antidote for a gargantuan amount of money. It just so happens that the key to all this lies in the turtles blood, the mutagenic serum that transformed them.
Shredder tracks them down to their lair. Beats them all, and captures Leo, Mikey, and Donny. Raph escapes capture by being buried under a pile of rumble. Now with the turtles captured the evil plan can commence. It's up to Raphael, April, and Vernon (a character from the original cartoon) to stop them. As you can guess the rescue plan succeeds and the turtles are freed. But their blood has already been siphoned off. Now together they must stop Shredder's evil plan before it's too late! Which they do.
What I liked about the film: The final fight takes place in broad daylight. This is a first for the series and allows for us to see every detail of the fight clearly. The fight itself is okay but nothing spectacular. There's a small scene with the turtles "beat boxing" in an elevator which I thought was cute. Beyond that there wasn't much else.
I didn't care for Shredder's design or the Foot Clan at all. Karai (Shredder's daughter also featured in TMNT) was lame. Megan Fox's acting was fairly poor. And the plot seemed a little boring. But most of all the turtles didn't feel like my turtles. The designs were poor and the characters seemed dumb down and generic (something 25 years of comics, cartoons, and movies worked so hard to establish, all for nothing). They really pushed Raphael on us and he's not my favorite. Leo was a complete waste and Donny had maybe one cool moment. I honestly had flashbacks to bad 90's cinema like Street Fighter, Double Dragon, and Mortal Kombat: Annihilation while watching, as if the cast and crew did very little research as to what it was that they were actually making.
But the movie is making bukoo bucks at the box office. What didn't work for me is apparently working for the new generation. And that's what this new Ninja Turtles is, a film for audiences new to the turtles and not for those of us who remember what they were before. 2007's TMNT was a perfect blend of treating the core audience (men and women of my generation) and introducing these characters to a new audience too. I loved that movie but I certainly don't like this new one. But then again it wasn't made for me but for new fans and they definitely seem to be taking a liking to it. Either that or Michael Bay sold his soul to make this film a success. Not sure which.
Overall Ranking: 4 out of 10
And I'm told by my colleagues that I'm being too generous. It still wasn't as bad as Street Fighter Legends Chun Li.
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