SILVER TONGUED SILVER SCREEN: TRANSFORMERS AGE OF EXTINCTION

I just got out of the theater, wolfed down some pizza, and am now typing away. The movie, TRANSFORMERS: AGE OF EXTINCTION. It's been 3 years since the last Transformers film and 3 years since I last saw a Transformers film. Once again Michael Bay is directing, refusing to let anyone else touch his cash cow. And I can't blame him. Every film in this franchise has grossed over $300 million dollars domestically. That's huge. That's a powerhouse franchise on par with Spider-Man and Iron Man and Lord of the Rings.

I went to see this film because I've seen every Transformers film in the franchise and I wanted to see Dinobots. I remember the charm of the first film, the whooing of Megan Fox by Shia Labouf and Bubble Bee. I remember the incredible spectacle of seeing the Autobots and Decepticons transform and wage war. That charm seems lost now.

Back in the day I saw Michael Bay's film THE ROCK and it stands as one of my favorite actions films. Badboys and Badboys II are some quality shit too. Even when Michael Bay turned to producing, making his production company Platinum Dunes and producing horror film remakes like The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and The Hitcher, I enjoyed. Sadly for me the Transformers franchise seem less enjoyable than the aforementioned films above.

The first film in the series is definitely the best, from there take your pick as to what's the best and worst. Michael Bay seems to suffer from spectaculitus. Just too much spectacle. My eyes feel inundated by the end of these films and the shear awe of spectacle is lost. It's like eating a whole carton of awesome sauce. It tastes really good for the first 30 minutes. An hour in it doesn't taste as sweet anymore because your taste-buds are flooded with sugar. Then an hour and a half in it's taking all you've got and all your strength just to finish the bowl. By the end you can't taste anything, you don't want anymore, and you feel slightly bad about yourself.

All in all the film delivers on exactly what it promises. If you liked the previous Transformers films you will definitely like this one. The Dinobots rule! Other than Dinobots it brings nothing new to the table. It is no better than the previous Transformers films and no worse. It'll probably earn another $300 million too.

Overall Ranking: 5 out of 10

I miss Megan Fox...