SKINAMARINK (2022)
"Skinamarink ka dinky dink! Skinamarinky-do! I love you!"
The latest critical horror darling has come out and we here at Blood Work made our exodus to the theaters to see it. Whispers were that this new horror film was one of the scariest films ever made, the new standard of horror cinema. At least this was what a lot of the critics were saying. Just a friendly reminder, take critics' reviews with a massive grain of salt (afterall, these people said that John Carpenter's THE THING was abysmally terrible back in 1982). Critics back then and certainly today seem wildly out of touch with what's good and what's not (says someone giving a critique).
What scares people and what doesn't is all subjective. Just like comedy, everyone is affected differently. What you find scary someone else may not. I remember another critical horror darling from back in the day: THE VVITCH (2015). Critics loved it! Us here at Blood Work? Not so much. Needless to say, we here at Blood Work don't often see eye to eye with the critics. It's happened so often within the last decade that our feelings haven't aligned with critics that we don't go to Rotten Tomatoes anymore nor place any weight in professional critic reviews anymore.
Now that that's out of our system... Anyway, we headed out to the Alamo Drafthouse, found our seats, and were treated to a host of vintage cartoons including a 1935 short called BALLOON LAND, which was amazing (featuring a homicidal maniac called Pincushion Man)! All of the vintage cartoons were fantastic. We ordered fried food and ice cream shakes and were genuinely feeling good awaiting the start of the movie.
Then Skinamarink began...
THE SYNOPSIS
Two children are awakened in the middle of the night by a noise. They walk downstairs and turn on some cartoons and start playing with toys. The strange noises keep sounding around the house. Windows, doors, and toilets mysteriously disappear. Then their parents disappear. In the dead of night a disembodied voice starts talking to them and telling them to do horrible things.
INITIAL IMPRESSIONS
The movie begins like a vintage film from the 1960s or early 70s with a classic credits roll. The entire film had an artificial film-grain filter over it which added to the authenticity of the vintage presentation. The lighting was faded and dark, as if the film elements had been washed out over time and the audio crackled and popped such as you'd hear in the dead space on a vinyl record. All of it added to the experience, simulating a viewing of a lost film from decades passed. The photography was often at extremes, either from a low angle at the floor level or a high angle with mostly the ceiling in view.
All of this added to the "off-key" feeling of the film and really set the tone for a potentially terrifying experience. The atmosphere created as a result was palpable and rife with eerie potential. After about ten minutes into the film though, all of the atmosphere and tension wore off. Very little dialog was spoken throughout the entire film. Little context was given to the situation nor was there story captions or news articles lying around to explain the premise. The audience was literally left in the dark as to what the plot was or even what was happening.
After about twenty minutes all of the ambiance wore off and frustration began to set in. I checked my watched and sighed, 'How much more is left?' I found myself thinking. By forty minutes I found myself on the verge of screaming at the screen in sheer frustration, 'DO SOMETHING!' As you can imagine, little has occurred at all an hour into the movie. There were teases galore of potential moments for scares and shocks, but none ever manifested, just teased. Almost another hour later... a little has happened, but not enough to make the movie worth it. The end payoff was not worth the wait.
After frustration, I felt angry, and then apathy by the end. This movie really disappointed me.
To be fair, as a piece of art, the concept comes through. If this were a short film of ten to fifteen minutes and maintained all of the significant moments, then Skinamarink would be far more palatable. But as a nearly two hour film, it simply does not give the audience enough to warrant such a long runtime. If you approach this film as a piece of auteur cinema, an artistic concept come to life, then there's a lot to appreciate. Now, if this movie was made for ten dollars then I commend the director for such an incredible achievement on a low budget.
But as a narrative device, this film failed me cataclysmically. It barely gives us enough plot to even qualify as a story.
THE VERDICT
As a piece of raw artistic expression, the director's concepts come through beautifully. But that's it. Skinamarink is all style and no substance that greatly outstays its welcome. I loved the atmosphere and veneer though. The film manages to create many possible moments of greatness, but never really delivers. Budgetary constraints may be the cause of this, but still, it doesn't take a budget to write a good story and Skinamarink barely has a story at all. With what Skinamarink does have, there's loads of potential for a terrifying film to be made. As it is, there's only setups and no worthwhile payoffs (if any payoff at all).
Overall Ranking: 3 out of 10
I would not recommend this movie to anyone. A ten minute highlight reel, maybe, but nothing more.
I know this is harsh, but it really was a trial of sheer will and endurance to suffer through. But, the experience itself was worth it. Being with good friends at the Alamo Drafthouse, enjoying the preshow vintage cartoons and food was wonderful. The conversations we had both before and after, along with the film discussion really saved the experience. But the film itself was the biggest negative of the entire thing. So, if you don't have an enjoyable surrounding experience, this movie may leave you feeling even worse than it did us here at Blood Work.
You've been warned
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