One of the most puzzling things about us here at Blood Work is that we've NEVER read a single Hellboy comic book. Never. Weird, right? Conceptually and thematically Hellboy was made for us. Everything about it is the stuff we eat up and love, our "life-blood" if you like. Honestly, it comes down to one extremely shallow and vapid reason: We're not that into Mike Mignola's style of artwork. Don't get us wrong, you've got a great personality and we'd be the best of friends, but we're just not that into you THAT way. 'Sigh' It's not you, it's us.
I've said it before and I'll say it again, "I am what's wrong with the world."
Anyway, when Guillermo Del Toro came along and ushered forth his take on Hellboy, that was our first real exposure to the character. The first film is great, but lands in that strange era for comic book films where there was heavy CGI and the CGI didn't age well. The second Hellboy film is what really made us fans of the character (not enough to seek out the source material mind you). Hellboy II: The Golden Army is one of the films we point to in reference to how amazing 2008 was for movies. If that film was any indication of what Hellboy III could've been we were all in. We are dying to see Ron Perlman and Guillermo Del Toro's trilogy completed.
"But twas never meant to be." So, you'd think we'd be against this new HELLBOY reboot, right? Well, we were at first. And then we saw who was directing it and what it was rated. I have been a fan of Neil Marshall's work since 2005's THE DESCENT, a masterful piece of horror cinema. I fell in love with his work again with the 2008 film DOOMSDAY, a love letter to John Carpenter, George Miller, George Romero, and Sam Raimi (another example of how stellar 2008 was!). Needless to say, I am a fan of Neil Marshall's work. And the man works best in a rated R environment.
And guess what? The new Hellboy is rated R! YES! And it is glorious! This film is a horror fan's visual feast. The designs herein are grotesquely stunning and the sights brutally spectacular. It's like if Miyazaki went to Hell and came back with a new story to tell. When we look back at 2019 in ten years we are going to point to Hellboy as one of the reasons why 2019 was a great year for cinema. We're calling it now: Hellboy will be one of our, if not the, favorite films of the year.
We LOVE this movie!
THE PLOT
Long ago the Blood Queen spread plagues across the earth, nearly extinguishing humanity. Her monsters roamed freely across the lands devouring any and all they came across. It was the legendary King Arthur, the Knights of the Round Table, and Merlin who rose up to defeat her nearly two millennia ago. Today, whispers upon the dying breaths of monsters foretell of a coming doom and of the Blood Queen's return. King Arthur is long dead. But luckily we have a Hellboy to stop her.
INITIAL REACTIONS
First off, and this is what most everybody will point to as their "reason" for disliking the movie, is the plotting. I must admit that this film took a page from the DC Extended Universe playbook, and not the greatest of pages either, that of the super-stuffed narrative. The film has the same narrative stitching that Aquaman, Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice (or BVSDOJ for you acronym lovers), Justice League, and Suicide Squad have. It feels like the filmmakers have crammed seven stories into one. There's one movie that also has this problem that no one ever brings up because it ruins all their arguments is Guardians of the Galaxy (it is just as spastic and crazy in its plotting as the films above, admit it). Strange, yes?
But, where BVSDOJ just feels messy and unnecessarily convoluted, this film feels more like a culmination of a saga within a "lived in" universe. A convenient way to justify this over-stuffed plot, I know, I know, but it feels more like all the events of Hellboy's life, all those little meetings and coincidences, are coming together in a grand moment of destiny. The moment Hellboy was born for. That's how DC made it work better with Aquaman. Yeah, one could look at this as obnoxious fan-service, and it is, but there is a cohesion here (albeit loose) that many films like this can't attain. Really, the story feels more akin to a culmination film like Avengers: Infinity War but without the luxury of 20 films to precede it.
Getting passed our selective "over-stuffed" narrative acceptances, this movie is unabashed in its violence and horror. The finale is one of the greatest horror spectacles we've ever seen put to screen! There is an incredible amount of gore and blood and bodily harm shown on screen beyond what most films of the last few years have displayed. There are even a few head-jerk shots of people getting ripped apart that stun even seasoned gore pros like ourselves. It's the closest we'll ever see to the "Eclipse" sequence in BERSERK happening on film. It even gave us an idea of what a great live action DEVILMAN could look like.
It is a visual feast for the eyes in more than just the gore and violence. There are some amazing set pieces and locations including the interior of the Osiris Club, Pendle Hill, Merlin's cave, and so many others. But the real scene-stealer is Baba Yaga. Baba Yaga's house is crazy and amazing to behold, an old house on giant walking chicken legs. If you know your lore this is an accurate design but that makes it no less incredible to see. The interior of the house and Baba Yaga herself are intensely creepy, the sequence perhaps being the highest level of horror and revulsion in the film. The moment showcases some real darkness and evil too.
And we'd be remiss if we didn't mention the totally iconic status imagery of Hellboy with a whole head of horns riding a dragon through a Hell-on-Earth Armageddon hacking people to pieces with a sword. We could watch that on repeat for a while.
And last but not least is the amazing cast assembled here. David Harbour could pass as a young Ron Perlman and he nails it as Hellboy. Ian McShane is amazing as usual, the man is awesome in whatever role he plays. Milla Jovovich walks the edge of beautiful and terrifying perfectly. And we were pleasantly charmed with how fun and badass Daniel Dae Kim and Sasha Lane were. And Thomas Haden Church was a delightful surprise!
If we had anything to nitpick it'd be the opening luchador sequence. It felt very odd from the get go and, once the film finished, felt even more out of place (but truthfully we've never been much for luchadors so maybe it's our biases showing). Some of the humor also didn't land very well with us (again we've been very critical of the over-saturating of humor in super hero films today so take this criticism with our personal salt... wait, that didn't come out right). Then there is the question of just how much physical harm can Hellboy withstand before it becomes lethal? If his "healing factor" was a little more defined then certain scenes would feel more dire. But you know what? None of these things are that big of a deal to us. We fricken loved this movie!
THE VERDICT
Hellboy is top to bottom bonkers and totally insane... in the BEST way possible! In this insanity Hellboy becomes the most fun and enjoyable movie I've seen in years. Gory and intense, this film is the best blend of horror and super hero cinema so far. It feels like the "anything goes" horror filmmaking of the 80's while maintaining a pacing a sensibility of films like Crank and Shoot Um' Up. That should tell you that this film isn't for everybody, but that's what makes it so special. Neil Marshall often emulates John Carpenter and feels like a modern day John Carpenter in many ways (maybe that's why we like him so much?). Hellboy, like Marshall's other films, stands out from the crowd and will find a longevity (maybe not in the box office) well after it's theatrical run.
Overall Ranking: 8 out of 10
Nude-O-Meter: 1 out of 10
We're buying this movie right when it comes out on video in three months! And we hope there's an unrated director's cut too! That would be perfect for this movie!
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