WRITTEN IN BLOOD: VALKYRIE VS AMAZON

Preface: Welcome to ROUND 4 of my own personal WARRIOR TOURNAMENT. So far we've seen Ninjas, Vikings, Shaolin Monks, Apache, Cowboys, and Pirates. I realized something after the last three rounds that the battles have been very male dominated. I haven't been very fair to the opposite sex. So this next one is for the ladies. The first exclusive woman vs woman match up of our tournament: Valkyries vs Amazons.

ATTENTION: These are the mythological versions of the characters NOT the real life versions. Because in real life Valkyries do not exist. Norse mythology vs Greek mythology.  I am pleased to announce that this has been the greatest voter turnout of them all, 99 votes in all. It's spring time and we're hiring on a lot more people. Hopefully the new influx of people will provide more interesting insight. Anyway without further adieu here are the results of what all my coworkers had to say.

ROUND 4

VALKYRIE VS AMAZON

VALKYRIE            AMAZON             DRAW              HAVE YOU CONSIDERED THERAPY?

48                        49                           1                                         1                         

STORE MANAGER CHOICE: DRAW

ADVANTAGE: AMAZON

Sadly I had to explain to most of my coworkers who the Valkyries were and to a lesser extent who the Amazons were. I was kind of surprised how few of my coworkers knew what a Valkyrie was. At first I was explaining everything to them in words. Then I printed off color pictures to aid in their decision making. My explanations were as follow: 

The Valkyries were gods of Norse mythology. Worshiped by the Vikings. They would come down from Valhalla on flying horses after a battle had ended and they would decide which souls went to Valhalla and which souls went to Hel. Armored. Wings of their own. Armed with swords and lances. Their primary functions were Ferriers of the Dead.

The Amazons were a tribe of demi-god warrior women. Exclusively women. They trained their entire lives to be the fiercest warriors the world has ever seen. It was said that no man could defeat them and that the great conquerors of the world like Alexander the Great were born of the Amazon women.

What does this say about us Psychologically? As you can see this was the closest battle yet. The women were split evenly between the two and it was the vote of one man that decided the victor. I believe the Valkyries were hurt because of their relatively unknown status to my coworkers. But those who knew what a Valkyrie was were fervently for the Valkyries by virtue of them being gods! The fact that their primary occupation wasn't fighting but rather ferrying the dead ultimately hurt them to a degree.

Where the Amazons gained favor was that most women viewed them as the ultimate woman capable of anything. The fact that Wonder Woman is an Amazon gave them votes. Ultimately it was that the Amazons were sole fighters. Trained since they could walk in the ways of war. Combining the natural intelligence and intuition of women with the art of war convinced many to go with the Amazons. And more than one of my male coworkers voted for them on the premise of them being sexy as hell. 

A Valkyrie on her throne

The ultimate edge was that the Amazons only occupation is that of a warrior.

Where do you fall?

THE STORY

Let me tell you of the day I met a god. We had just slaughtered a horde of men from the north. They had tried to invade our land, burn our homes and ravage our sisters. We showered the ground with their entrails. Their blood yet dripped from our blades, hot and sticky upon our skin. That was when we saw the column of light. It came crashing down from the heavens stretching high into the sky. What emerged from the light neither I nor the five sisters with me could’ve ever imagined.

Six women stepped forth from the light. Clad in gleaming silver armor, hair as golden as the sun. They carried long polished swords and lances with sturdy arms and steel forged bodies. They rode winged steeds as they surveyed the carnage. If I ever imagined a god she would look like them. They kneeled beside each of the 48 invaders we had slain, raising their souls or sending them down to what I can only imagine to be the lower realms. When they had finished, the six of them and all they had raised stepped back into the light.

I don’t know what possessed my sister Andromeda to race towards the light for she said nothing. She was our commander. Where she went we went. My sisters and I dove headlong into the light. It felt as if I had plunged into the eye of a great storm. The noise was deafening. Streaks of every color of light passed before my eyes. We had entered a fierce stream senses that carried us from one realm to another.

When we emerged we found ourselves surrounded by verdant fields, clear blue skies, and in the distance stood a golden city. I would have thought this be Elysium but heaven would not have half of our defeated would-be conquerors within it.  Just ahead of us many of our defeated foes wandered the fields. They turned around and saw us. Maybe they believed that in heaven they could not be killed for they charged back into battle far more ferociously than before. The second mistake they had made that day. We killed them all again.

It was then that we sisters gained the notice of the Valkyries, a name which I will never forget. How could we have known what we were up against? How could we have prepared for an enemy of another world? We had our swords, bows, and arrows to their gleaming blades, lances, and flying horses. Where most of their bodies were covered in armor much of our skin was exposed. We had war paint upon our brows, bones lashed to our arms as armor, and the blood our enemies drying on our skin.

It was Andromeda who walked toward them, fearless, sword in hand. She stood her ground as the beautiful and terrifying Valkyries soared straight for us. Just before the battle started my sisters and I heard her say, 

“Let us see if a god can bleed.”

The Valkyrie leap off her horse, diving through the air towards her. Andromeda dashed to the side and the Valkyrie landed with the sound and fury of a thunderclap! In a moment the goddess was upon her. Their swords clashed, sparks erupting with each strike. The goddess moved with incredible speed and intensity despite the armor. Andromeda’s arms, legs, and belly were slashed. It was all she could do to defend herself. Our hearts cried out in horror as the Valkyrie’s blade pierced our leader’s chest and out her back. But it was not fear that painted Andromeda’s face when she stared back into the eyes of death. 

“Is that the best you can do?”

 She clutched the goddess’s throat, and in one stroke of the sword separated her enemy’s head from her shoulders. The Valkyrie fell down dead upon the fields. My leader turned to us, sword yet through her chest, the goddess’s head in her hand. “The pillar of light is gone,” she shouted. “There is no turning back! Fight my sisters! Show these gods of the north who we Amazons are!” Her voice roared across the fields. She stirred the courage in our hearts. But it was suddenly cut short. A rain of lances fell from the sky impaling Andromeda five times through.

We stood paralyzed at the sight of slain sister. The other five Valkyries descended upon us. Rage swelled in our hearts. My sisters and I raised our weapons high and sounded the battle cry. Our blood has never boiled hotter than it did that day. They circled above us, attacking from the air. They swooped in on their horses slashing with swords and battering us with steel. Our arrows merely bounced off their silver armor. So instead we aimed for their mounts.

One after the other we felled each Pegasus, taking every last arrow in our quivers. We charged forward on the fallen angels, swords drawn. We crashed upon their steel like water on rock. They divided us, pushed us apart. Five against five. Never have I felt a strength as powerful as theirs nor an attack as fast. It was a force which made me doubt my own abilities, strength and skill forged in blood, sweat, and tears. Since I was old enough to hold a sword. Then I remembered Andromeda and what she showed us: that even gods can die.

I used my enemy’s strength and speed against her. When the Valkyrie slashed with her sword it left a small opening, a side of her exposed to attack. I moved faster and struck harder than I ever knew I could, a testament to power of my foe. But even so it was not enough to spare me injury at her hands. My blood ran down the edge of her blade, down my brow, arms and legs. I showed her my sword and grinned, fresh scarlet staining its sides.

Our swords clanged against one another, the wind of our strokes buffeting the grass and trees around us. My muscles pushed to their limits. She knocked Enma’s Fang from my hands, the sword given to me by my mother. I was unarmed and at the Valkyrie’s mercy. I moved with renew energy and, I must admit, a great sense of desperation, ducking and dodging her powerful strikes. My movements were sharp, precise, for if they were anything less I would not live to tell of it. I drew her in close. I saw my opening. I clenched my fist and hammered it into the goddess’s face. The blow knocked her off balance and from the look in her eyes caught her by surprise. I pressed my advantage, striking the chinks in her armor, tenderizing her body with my fists. I ripped off her helmet and bashed my skull into hers. She staggered for the first time. I did not let up. Her blood dripped from my wrapped knuckles, face swollen and bleeding. I pushed her farther back. I felt victory close at hand!

Two large feathered wings sprung from her back with a gale force that tossed me away. My heart sank upon seeing it. She floated in the air on a pair of wings, more beautiful and deadly than any angel of death spoken of in the tales of the Olympus. Her golden hair flowing angelically in the wind. I uttered a silent prayer, “If I was to die let it be by this woman’s hands.” I looked around to see how my sisters fared. I turned to see the last of us cut down along with her enemy. All my sisters lay dead on the field, but they had managed to take each of their opponents with them. My foe and I were all that remained.

She held her blade out, the tip pointing at me. My sword lay a few paces away. Then she spoke with a voice as angelic as her appearance, “You fight well, warrior. But know this. Against the gods there can be no victory.” 

I stood tall, the wind blowing through my hair, “Tell me, does a goddess still pray? I suggest you start.” 

I dove for my sword! The Valkyrie came at me with the fury of a storm! I gripped Enma’s Fang and leapt for her! I spiraled through the air narrowly avoiding being skewered on her swords. I dug my blade deep, rending flesh and bone. I dropped to the ground covered in blood, a severed wing by my side. I turned. The Valkyrie lay on the ground and held herself as pain wracked her body. I am ashamed to say that I let my guard down.

She lunged forth off the ground toward me, sword held high above her head! All I could do was turn. Her sword cleaved through my bone armor along my arm and knocked me to the ground! When I opened my eyes she was on top of me preparing to thrust her sword deep into my chest. Then a voice sounded that shook the very foundations of my soul. It was the voice of a woman. It stayed the Valkyrie’s hand.

“Stop,” said the voice. Another goddess descended from the sky, more incredible than the Valkyries. “I am Freyja, Queen of the Gods. What is your name, warrior?”

The Valkyrie let me rise. She dropped to one knee and bowed her head in reverence. I stood defiantly before the Queen, “Phaedra of the Amazons.”

“You fight well, Phaedra. So well that I do not wish to see you perish at my shield maiden’s hand.” I admitted no such defeat for in that moment just before Freyja appeared, Enma’s Fang pressed against the Valkyrie’s belly. In truth it was the Valkyrie whom was saved that day. “I will spare you a glorious warrior’s death in exchange for an even greater death. You are now in service to us. I will send you back to your people so that one day I may call upon you again. To fight as one of my Valkyries.” I still said nothing for I knew not how to react to her words. Suddenly I was bathed in light and when I emerged I was back on the battlefield outside my city.

I tell you this, the greatest victory of my sisters. The day we faced down the very gods themselves and earned their favor. I will always remember the cold steely gaze in their eyes, threatening to swallow us with fear. No man nor sister of Amazonia has fought with as much strength and will as we who fought that day in the lush meadows of Valhalla.